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Here is the tenth in a series of Divorce Corp polls. Please vote only once. We will post the results once we have received a statistically significant number of votes.


[polldaddy poll=7806687]


And here are the results:


In most transactions in life the percentage charged by the “facilitators” is small. Credit card companies charge vendors 2% to 3%.  Realtors charge 5%.  Mortgage companies charge 1%. Why is it that lawyers charge 35% to 100% of a couple’s assets to complete a divorce? 58% of our voters were completely wiped out! It’s because our government has created an oligopoly to benefit the lawyers. Our legislators have made the laws so complex that very few people can effectively represent themselves in family court. So they feel that they must hire a lawyer.  And the level of complexity is so great that the lawyers more often than not consume all of the available funds. If your spouse hires a lawyer and you do not, you are at a significant disadvantage.

It’s tragic when your own government is looking out for the interests of a privileged class of professionals instead of the general public. We need to reform the system.  Please sign up at www.divorcecorp.com/reform.  Thank you.


90 thoughts on “How much did your personal net worth drop due to the divorce and payment of legal fees? Poll #10

    • My son and I are living with my brother’s family now. I am very humbled to be in this situation at 47 years of age but very worth it to protect my son. I choose spending time with my son is way important than a big home or a nice car.

      • Hi David Schaack… Your priority with your child is admirable. I support you. However, there have been fathers who “walk on water” sorta speak…completely innocent and good parent….and STILL…….get shafted in family court, loosing their children to an abusive parent. Happens often. Please get in touch with me as I would like to know how your situation goes. Keeping you in my prayers.

        • form of suppression, same old tactic divide a conquer, separate the group large or small capitalize from the financial head of the group and leave the rest of the group to produce the same. there is no unity amongst the common people in this country. when the state governments are allow to extort certain groups, other groups are not concern until it effect’s them.

      • Ditto – those that know me and ex-wife can’t imagine how the judge justified giving her everything and taking away my Joint Custody – my crime was going back to court twice due to hundreds on violations of the divorce decree, custody and child neglect/endangerment. $200K later I am stopping before I go bankrupt and instead I’m seeking a political resolution to get enough support to kick judge out in 3-years.

  1. I was an Air Traffic Controller making $130K+ per year with a house, two cars, and perfect credit. I supported my ex-wife through her college degree at Colorado State University and she graduated in 2005. The divorce started in 2008 and now, 6 years later, I’m a full time college student, I couldn’t finance a stick of gum, all property has been seized or repossessed, and I live in poverty.

  2. I consumed all temporary maintenance and $30-45k in student loans to support myself and pay lawyers over the year and a half it took to finalize our divorce. He, however, was able to pay his lawyer 7 times the amount I was able to pay mine. As a result, I was ordered to pay back credit card cash advances I had taken just after our separation, which had been paid off using about $15k of my most recent student loan disbursement. Because of that, I am liable for the credit card debt and my student loan debt, which essentially means I am paying his premarital debt and my debt doubled because of two transactions (paying off the cards and then taking back the funds). I was ordered to pay $40k in debt in our final order – as a student. He’s a dentist whose business I built and worked in for free for 3 years. He was assigned all debts and assets related to the business. The details of my case are so disgusting that a book could be written about it.

    • You are not along, unfortunately others have to be affected beside minority before it is recognized that there is a problem. And I believe women would be less concern if it did not affect them, I know all women are not the same, I drawn these conclusion base on the conversation I have had with women especially the one’s in my immediate family. Nothing personal

  3. It left me almost homeless. No close family members to live with. Sold anything and everything to buy the essentials. Car repo’d, bankruptcy, foreclosure, laid off due to the economy. It was a perfect storm all hitting at the same time. Wish I knew what I know now. I made it through that storm and many lessons learned. Still don’t have my kids back and I pay him child support. I didn’t have $22k to go into litigation. Went through 3 lawyers…..still there was no justice.

    • The best advice I got was to walk away and give her everything. Would not have cost me all these phony legal fees, no false hopes of some kind of justice.

      No point in thinking anyone really cares what your spouse did, unless your a woman. Then it’s assumed your husband was abusive.

      No-fault means your spouse can purposefully plan your demise and not be accountable for anything. They can use your kids against you, gaslight and use every dirty trick in the book.

      The only thing that matters is MONEY and if you give it to the lawyers expecting justice, you’re a fool.

      • Absolutely. There comes a point where you raise your hands up and say I surrender and just walk away from the never ending debt abyss. I made the mistake of thinking it would end in a civil manner. Boy, was I ignorant and too nice about the whole thing and my expectations from a self-centered selfish spouse. Then to be in the legal system and again having unrealistic expectations of what these so-called professionals are suppose to accomplish for me. Pfff….so stupid to place what little I had left in the hands of lawyers, parent evaluators, judges to make decisions. It’s not about doing what’s right. The system is driven by MONEY and not what’s in the best interest of all parties. WHOEVER HAS THE MOST MONEY WINS! I’ve accepted this and have moved on. Now I just deal with the consequences and hope that support groups and advocates for justice stand up for people like us with these particular outcomes – give us a voice to clean up the Family Court system. It may be futile ….worth a try.

        • Do as I’m doing and focus your energy and money to get the judge kicked out next election cycle…organize – everyone tell your story to the media and any organization that will listen – strike election time.

        • It’s not always the one with the most money. The one with the most money often is targeted for the kill. At least in my case.

  4. In one afternoon my exwife , a single mother on food stamps and welfare was able to get 228 thousand dollars and stay in the home I built before we met. Then I find out that she had been seeing the father of the son I adopted. This had been going on for years behind my back. He claimed he was not the father but kept sleeping with my wife while I paid the child support. Mow I still have to pay alimony every week or go to jail. How much is enough?

  5. I lost my job due to an arrest (false allegation) where charges were pending for almost 2 years. During these two years I could not get a job sweeping floors. I was forced to cash in 3 retirement accounts in 2009 at the historically lowest value or loose my house and the equity in it… My lifetime perfect credit report was ruined. My attorney costs were in approximately $50K. I did not see my son for the entire time the bogus protective order was in place. Only after all charged were dropped was I able to pay more money to attorney’s and family court costs. All the while applying for 30-50 jobs / month. Then I was hired by a government contractor, only to fail get my secret security clearance because of the poor credit rating.

    It’s been 4 years and I have yet to recover. I have lost approximately $780,000.00 in lost wages, retirement penalties, taxes on early withdraw, and unearned wages.

    Going on 5 years and I’m still fighting in court (pro se) because I have no more money. The courts are gender bias. The GAL is pathetic. I had a strong enough case to have one judge removed from my case for the “appearance of impropriety” A judicial Marshall who fixes stuff with the judge made the mistake of cheating on his girlfriend with my son’s Mom who was playing him to influence the judge.

    It’s a wonder I haven’t hung myself…it ‘s not over either… The child is 4. He has been on meds since he was two. His medical records clearly state he is in crisis, a danger to himself, other children, child care workers, and his Mother… Yet the GAL is more concerned with how clean her house is and if he’s wearing nice cloths.

    I have filed 12 motions for contempt for the denial of court ordered parenting time. I have filed 2 motions for primary custody based upon his medical records…
    Now we have a new judge (Female) who has delayed the action on the motions for going on 2 years.

    The Mom doesn’t even show up for court, and the judge will not act on the motions.

    Gender Bias, Corruption, or Incompetence, or all of them exists in the CT family courts.

    • The Custody battle was horrific. All were on Fathers side. Judge friends with him, GAL friends with him, on and on. I was forced to pay for so much, lost my Business(GAL destroyed my name and reputation), and so much more. Now living in poverty, and still fighting for some justice.
      My Horror story is so long, need to write a book.
      My son and I left devastated.

    • Wow! I thought I had a story to match all others but yours is compelling.

      I saw my old CPA after Family Court in Hawaii. He figures it cost me $3 Million before Bankruptcy and Child support. Raised all four children as a single father. She wants more. I’m 62 and penniless.

      Tom Ball is my hero.

    • Take your story to the press! Plea to the constituents for support and to write your state’s Chief Justice and congressman…

    • Here’s one trick in their book that hasn’t been mentioned. After having been very ill while married and unable to work I managed to finally get a good solid corporate job once again. Within 24 hours of my first day my ex filed for divorce. But within 1 year my ex and her attorney declared I wasn’t a hard enough worker and wasn’t getting raises fast enough to move her child support to where she wanted it to be. And the judge HAD already allowed granted an amount WELL IN EXCESS of the state’s standard calculated amounts. The ex’s atty got the judge to issue SUBPOENA to executive mgt of my employer (a $500M company ) – put him on the stand in local district county court, abusing and harassing him in public court – forcing him to testify about the company’s pay scales and what a lousy worker I was.

      The Executive strongly testified I was a fine worker even while in a very stressful role involving company proprietary data. BUT following the hearing I was released from my job and the company – they refused to tolerate having mgt personnel forced to court due to an employee’s divorce. (Totally legal as it was a “right to work state”).

      The Colorado judge subsequently refused to ever even allow me into court for any form of request for reconsideration regarding support payments even though my ex caused my job dismissal. Plus the situation “black listed” me in a town where I’d worked for 2 decades. Can’t even begin to explain the impact that has had on me over during the decade since that event.

      Logic and rational thought play absolutely no role in family courts! ONLY logic related to how to best pad the attorney’s pockets and have judges wielding power just because they can. It is hard not to want to just end your life sometimes.

    • Dennis

      Did you ever file a lawsuit for malicious prosecution?

      I was falsely arrested four times by my ex wife, why my lawyer of 9 years would never file the lawsuit for me after my begging upon winning the bs charge, I now know.

      It was not until I followed a lawsuit (pro se) against my ex for malicious prosecution, did my ex wife finally agree to come to the table to finalize a custody agreement.

      It states right in the final agreement that I will withdraw my lawsuit, with prejudice, as one of the agreements.

      Obviously that states to any reader of the agreement that her false arrest was about nothing but using the system to have me arrested as a bargaining chip in court and that money truly does rule all and she was never “in fear for her life” as she stated time and time again over nine years.


      • I think this is why California courts will no longer allow one party to file a malicious prosecution lawsuit against the other party (or party’s lawyer) in family court – because it exerts pressure to end the game that they have found to be so seductively lucrative.

  6. So… we all have similar stories with slightly different details but pretty much the same outcome… hmmm… how these lawyers love to rake in the money while they DESTROY lives with no care for the mothers, fathers, and children. REGULATE THE LAWYERS! PROSECUTE THE LAWYERS! THESE ARE RACKETEERING CRIMES!

    • There should be some overseeing of lawyers. It’s sad Lawyers can cheat you, judge is unfair, this in America. unbelievable!

  7. I lost everything: my job, my home, my visitation rights with my children. In my case, it was my wife who was the aggressor and I had a civil protection order against her, which was totally ignored in the divorce proceedings. Hearings were held without notifying me of them, judgments were entered ex parte without anyone informing me of them — it didn’t matter what I would have done because the decisions were all made without involving me in the so-called justice system. If I wrote a book about it — as I have done before — it wouldn’t even make decent fiction because nobody would believe it. In the aftermath, my ex-wife has driven our children out of her home. My children have said to me that they feel nothing was done to consider them and everything was done to help their mother, who turned on them.

  8. Ditto from all of your stories to mine. My story is a crazy one, too. I’ll save the details for my book! We could all write books. Instead, let’s write/make history by bringing the truth of all of our crazy situations to the forefront and keep them there until Family Law is about the family again!!!

  9. I was scammed here in the USA by a Foreign Immigration Marriage Scammer from the Philippines. Because of her scam and the help of her attorney and the false allegations of Domestic Abuse, she along with her and her corrupted lawyer, law guardian judges, workers from a Domestic Violence Program and a few others, were all able to cause me to lose my job, have a City of Batavia, NY cop threaten to murder me and thus, keep me unemployed from 2008 to present and mostly homeless from 2004 until 2012 as well.

  10. my divorce in california cost me $6500.00 he married my lawyer and I have paid to post divorce
    lawyers in California over $140,000 and am now pro per. They took my money and ran. They would not name this lawyer even though it says in the binding decree she wrote he pays for any post fees.
    I am literally becoming a paralegal. First thing you do? NAME THAT LAWYER in your court papers.
    NAME THAT LAWYER. Have your fees disgorged. Go a county or even two counties over to find a better
    and unbiased lawyer that does not reside in that county, Do your research. it happens more than you think. State bars do no like these cases. Loopholes.

  11. After my divorce, I was over $122,000 in the hole because the judge included my potential future interest in my parents’ farmland in the marital pot. I am ordered to pay my ex $122K for “her” share of property the court speculated I may own someday.

  12. My ex’s attorney fees so far is half of mine. I don’t understand why? I hardly communicate with my atty. I file papers myself prepared by atty. We r only always responding to ex’s motions. I had to let go of my atty. Any help available?

  13. I have filed an FOC87 and all supporting documentation detailing a three year pattern of:
    1. Parental alienation.
    2. FOC inability to investigate denial of parenting time.
    3. FOC acting as a call avoidance center, rather than a Customer Service Call Center. Appliances are given more attention by US product manufacturers that the FOC gives children.
    4. An FOC1a greivance form, detailing failings in FOC policy going unanswered for more than a year, when FOC procedure states such a complaint is to be answered in 30 days.
    5. Expungement of what low percentage of actual denials are accounted for without enforcement action.

  14. As much as I hate being part of this club at least I know it isn’t just me. My husband (an admitted alcoholic, abuser and adulterer) is living an extremely comfortable lifestyle while I’m barely keeping the lights on. Him and his family have spent over $100,000 to fight paying child support while I’m raising our 2 small children on $30,000 / year. He easily makes over 4 times what I do (and that’s only reported income) and has violated every court order without a seconds hesitation. All while dragging this divorce out until, in his words, he “destroys everything” I care about. Including our children. The GAL actually stated on record that he was clearly abusive and a pathological liar. Of course she didn’t seem to feel that this affects our children since he saves it for me. I literally walked out with the clothes on my back because my life was in danger and my attorneys, the magistrate, the GAL, all they’ve done is take what little I had and then some. Money I was saving for my children’s schooling for God’s sake. And my husband has not only NOT suffered any consequences from the perjury and contempt charges, his lifestyle has improved significantly. I don’t even bother talking to anyone about it because people don’t believe it and think I must be exaggerating. I honestly don’t know how to keep going. I don’t even want to. But my children are so small and I can’t stop fighting. I just didn’t anticipate having to fight the people who were supposed to help. I would never recommend marriage or children to anyone. My marriage certificate was a slave contract that the date happily endorses.

  15. My New Jersey divorce began in October 2005. From that point forward I was embarked on an involuntary odyssey through the broken judicial system ultimate involving 5 judges, 2 mistrials, 20 non-consecutive days of trial spanning October 2008 through February 2011. During that period, there was one full year after trial began when the court offered no trial dates. The final judgment was rendered in September 2011. Eight days later my ex filed a motion for reconsideration to get everything that the judge did not give them in the final judgement-basically re-litigating issues in direct violation of the rules of civil procedure. It took another 6 months to resolve the motion for reconsideration, and then another 6 months of letter-writing back and forth with the judge and my ex’s lawyer to interpret the judge’s incomprehensible and inarticulate order with respect to equitable distribution. The bottom line–7 years to resolve an 8 year marriage.
    Substantively, I paid 6 years of unallocated pendente lite support, 70% of my income on a pre-tax basis, leaving no money to pay taxes during that period. The tax bill was close to a half-million dollars by the end of the case. The judge refused to allocate the tax debt and stuck me with the total bill. I had to pay over my entire 401(k) to my ex to compensate her for withdrawals that I made from our retirement funds to live after she drained funds from joint accounts and disbursed them amongst 17 bank accounts at the beginning of the divorce. But that’s okay in New Jersey-you can steal and then get compensated for a double dip. The judge also ordered me to pay another 4 years of alimony for a total of ten years of support on an 8 year marriage, 6 of it tax free to the recipient. Welcome to justice and equity in the Garden State.
    So you ask what’s left and I tell you this: nothing. My house is gone. I live in a small two bedroom apparent weld my ex lives in a four bedroom home in an affluent community. My ex’s family paid over $500,000 on lawyers to distribute marital assets of less than half that figure. I drive a 25 year old car. I am 52 years old and starting over with deadbeat credit, no family (only child), no means to save for retirement or my children’s college expenses and no cushion if I lose my job. And in NJ if you can’t pay support you will be thrown in jail without an ability to pay hearing.
    My life was destroyed merely by the fact that the New Jersey family court system could not meet minimum use process requirements by scheduling a civil trial or appoint a competent judge who could run a trial.

  16. My ex boasted that she was going to take me for everything I had or would ever have and she almost succeeded. She was a pig;. now she is a fat pig. The money she took was really money meant for our kids. Building a nest egg and saving for my kid’s college now seems like it was a foolish dream.
    I’ve learned to live lean.

  17. My divorce process cost $400,000 over two years ($130,000 for her lawyer, $70,000 for my lawyer, $40,000 for an accountant to identidy the separate property, $50,000 in counselling for the two kids, another $50,000 for temporary living in an apartment with rental furniture and some other costs). She got 60% of the community property, because the court saw my income was higher, so she was entiteld to 60%. Community property in Texas does not mean a 50/50 split of community property on divorce. the final decree included a standard child possession order. So the $400,000 was spent to get a STANDARD decree in terms of time with the kids and 60% of the commuinity property to the stay-at-home wife. In addition, she got a mortgage-free house, van, furniture, part of my pension, part of my savings and 66% of the time with the kids. Divorce is leagalized rape. There is no equality in Texas. The US consitution guarantees equal protection under the law. But not in Texas divorce.

  18. I lost everything. I have spent over one million dollars in legal fees. I lost all my savings and I am being foreclosed on my home. A real horror story. Brought her from Venezuela. Subsidized her validating a dental degree. When the child was born she had a plan in place to abscond with the child through the Mexican border and return to her native Venezuela. Had a boyfriend in her home town all along. Was tipped off by a decent person from her home town and took the adequate steps to preclude her leaving wth the child. My son turned 6 years yesterday. I am broke but not broken. My son is with me and we have the greatest relationship in the world. My faith has sustained me. It didn’t have to be this way. Family Law and Family Court in the United States are a disgrace of America and a disgrace of the Judiciary. We should all strive to change these laws at the Federal Level. The sooner the better. Other Fathers have not been as lucky as me and they have never seen their children again.

  19. I have learned, albeit too late, that attorneys will needlessly prolong cases. Ken Warner, Paul Spear and Gary Mitchell, all Los Angeles based (and very rich) attorneys have profited unbelievably because my husband was dumb enough to give all $250,000 of our savings to them…thinking he’d win. The only salvation is that I’m no longer married to someone so idiotic as to give away all the $ we worked so hard for. I would’ve sent my kids to Ivy League schools. Instead, I’m 45, with the life beaten out of me, and trying to rebuild. But his dreadful mistress (also with her eyes on the $$) and these 3 vicious lawyers helped him take my kids away from me – so what’s there to rebuild if it will all be taken away from me again…in the name of child support? I’m ready to move to a remote foreign island and reclaim the remainder of my life. Why fight? Nobody wins except attorneys.

    • Sarah:

      I have learned that there are two ways to make a fortune in Family Court:

      1. Start with a larger one…

      2. Get a Law Degree.

      I’m on an island now (Oahu) and doing my best to stay below the radar. It would be a foreign one but I can’t get my Passport due to a State Dept.hold on it in concert with a completely Bogus Child Support order that the State overturned but later insisted I must pay because it “Was” an order at one time. Unbelievable? Not in this system…

      Ken Cannon

      • HI Ken,
        Move to Alaska. They don’t look for missing persons, if you really want to “get lost”.

        • Thanks No Name!

          Very much appreciate your advice. I was flirting with Sarah, who like me and most of the folks on this site have had their lives ripped out from underneath them by these vermin. Mine were Paul Sulla, Attorney, then Kilauea, Kauai…Judge Clifford Nakea (ret.) who “ALWAYS” (quoting Paul Sulla) ruled in favor of Atty. Randal Valenciano (now Judge Valenciano) Family Court of the Fifth District, State of Hawaii.

          None cared for the four children of this family who had no voice in its destruction. The vermin got rich and made fools of all.

          Besides, Alaska is much too cold. The mosquitoes there are legendary. I’m not a “missing person”, but I’m as “lost” as I ever want to be…

          Thank You, again.

          Ken Cannon

    • Hey ! I’m 47 ..same shit and same thoughts ..kids time is down to nuttin. Sucks. 150k gone. Fucking snake dirtbag lawyers thrive off lies, deceit, descending on a family in crisis.

      Divorce lawyers are a bunch of scum.

      A year from now, some guy is going to be in our situation and lose everything he built. I wish we could form a group, pool some cash and start a divorce depot. Standardize divorce and cut out the margin. Prob be a great business with the focus of helping and not victimizing a family.

      Dosent have to be like this.

  20. What a terrible series of deceit and lies weaved by my ex who is a known batterer and sociopath.he also has schizoid features and is a psychopath….he tried to kill me….everyday…..slowly,drip by drip….I ended up in hospital many times over..with fevers of 106.4 …internal bleeding, severe head aches,seizures…ex used me to obtain entree into the USA since his plan was to obtain a green card and USA citizenship…he had a longterm plan of stealing all of the marital assets and sending them to offshore accounts,,,,he stole the assets belonging to the three children leaving them without funds for university….he hired a bottom feeder liar/lawyer who should be disbarred for committing a Hate Crime in open court and deceiving the court with provocative deception……priding himself on being fused at the hip with the judges and the powers that be…..for colliding from behind the scenes….for assisting my ex in helping him steal the marital assets including the marital abode…….my ex lost his medical licenses in several american states for deception and lies…..the judges threw the book at him for deception in open court;was lambasted for deceit…judge stated that my ex purposely and with a purpose lies on cue and it is a fabric of his destructive and demented character and personality traits…that he has no remorse….that he feels no sense of guilt for causing the pain and misery to me and his three young children,,,,,and feels no remorse for trying to kill me…..he lied to the medical license bureau in another state so that he could obtain a license…..with the express assistance of a crooked liar/lawyer….he buried the documented truth…..like a dog who buries a bone…… so that the medical board would not know the history…..and the honest truth…my ex fears no man….he does not even fear g-d…..my dear children have been through so much…they have gone without the things that other kids have…..they have had to grow up rather quickly….they have a true sense of what is right and wrong…they will help others who need assistance……they volunteer their time….they are kind and honest human beings….I have done my very best to teach them that life can be filled with joy, that people can be good and continue to help someone in need …..

  21. I believe many Family Court Divorce lawyers take cases when they know that both litigants have a lot of money. They then create litigation in order to legally steal the money.Society is always putting people in jail for stealing but many poor people steal to survive.I believe these type of lawyers are the real criminals, they are not stealing to survive they steal out of greed.

    • I agree with you. In addition, from my own case, my first lawyer (lie-liar-yer) took on what he perceived as an easy case. He took my money, protected his winning streak of divorce cases and then realized mine wasn’t going to be so easy or civil. From there I spent most of my time with the legal assistant and my lawyer wasn’t attentive towards me anymore. he claimed he was too busy and overwhelmed with other cases. So shoved me off to an associate for “one hour” to go over my case. Come on, really? No other discovery was done. Their legal assistant filtered all of my calls and emails to no avail. That firm ran up the bill and didn’t even have all the document fees paid to the court. This kept on and on for almost 6 months. I came back and fired his associate and then the first attorney came back making more promises. Still nothing changed. I didn’t receive any help from these people. I pleaded with them to move quickly because my ex ran off with the kids when I had them established with me. Absolutely nothing was done to help my situation. The lawyer came back weeks later saying he needed more money to go into litigation or else he had to let me go. That selfish bastard left me high and dry! His MN good ole boys club of winning streak attorneys was now at stake. He was also on the board of Ethics Committee. I turned around and filed a complaint with the Ethics Committee and as you’d expect my complaint was answered with all this fluff and they pretty much wanted me to go away. So in all, this firm was looking for an easy payday. They didn’t do jack and when I finally made it to court my judge said some paperwork from this attorney was never filed or paid for! Surprise! Attorneys want to look good, protect their reputation and if they can’t get more money out of you then they kick you to the curb saying “oh well if you don’t have the money I can’t do anything else for you.” Btw, he was given the opportunity to explain his side and respond to my complaint. He downright lied, exaggerated and was accusatory about the whole thing. He was in the wrong and didn’t admit it or give an apology. But how ironic….a check came in the mail to me for a small dollar amount saying it was the unused balance. I take that as an admission to guilt. Their accounting of hours spent on my case and their time logs were so messed up I had evidence of it and called him out on it.

      My 3rd and final attorney was terrific! He ran his business out of his home and didn’t have some fancy website or fancy Mercedes Benz. He knew the law and how to remain objective and professional. I held him to the same high standards of mine. He got my divorce finalized for $2800. Too much lapsed so although the end result wasn’t what I wanted he was the voice of reason and said we can always go back to fight again when I’ve established myself financially. So I’m still very proud of this attorney and I wait another day……

      • Current amount spent to date for my divorce and ongoing issues that involve my attorney: $30k. May seem pretty small in comparison to other stories here on this feed but it’s a lot for me having nothing but the clothes on my back, no house, no cars, IRA’s cashed in, 40 acres and farm house gone, nothing! And now I work/slave to make ends meet paying the ex CS while he collects from State benefits and dodges the IRS with cash/money jobs. I live in another state and see the kids… Young adults twice a year. Can’t afford to see them more.

  22. It got worse. The courtroom bullying tactics were observed, and then mimicked by both my subsequent relationships and then my FAMILY in bankruptcy court and probate. After what I went through iin Gallatin County, MT, my ex-husband’s two attorney’s became the Bar Association’s county and State Bar’s directors. Ethical and procedural rules are meaningless. I have stacks of emails from all with the repeated mantra of taunts that say GET A LAWYER, GET A LAWYER. Thank you Divorce Corp, Emily Gallup and the Wild and Scenic Film Festival in Nevada City, CA.

  23. My exwife filed for divorce because she was having more fun with her drug dealing boyfriend behind my back. My adopted son whom I put through college decided he would also deal drugs. He now has been arrested and sits in jail for the next seven and a half years. I have two other sons. The judge ordered me out of the home that I owned before I met her. The judge said it was best for the children. My exwife, her boyfriend and my adopted son were making so much money that they were able to pay a high priced attorney to screw for every dime I had. CRIME PAYS

  24. I was essentially made homeless. I was ordered to leave the house, pay the mortgage, utilities and child support, while she was able to essentially live for free. Throughout our marriage, I couldn’t get her to get a job to help with some of the bills, or just her own personal expenses. When we divorced she went and got a job, purchased a brand new car, and was living high on the hog.

    Me, on the other hand, had to go and live with my sister. No car, no tv, only my clothes, and I didn’t receive all of them, because she packed my stuff.

    You would think that I was some terrible guy, but no history of dv. I worked to create a great life for my family, only to be exiled from the island I built!

    The first thing that the judge said to me at our first hearing was…”O.K. let me see your pay stubs!” The first thing I said to the judge was…”Good morning your honor, my name is Richard B!” It was downhill from there!

    I have since recovered somewhat, but I’m happy. What I’ve learned is that you cannot put a price tag on peace of mind!

  25. My X-Wife’s first attorney (Nissesbaum) quote to her was “I will bury him…He was only stopped when she fired him for $100K in billing in 4 months with very little work done…..He encouraged her to not trust, not communicate, and made her think she could even take over a business I had run for 20 years…He cared nothing about the case except what he could extract in money…He took on her case without a retainer after reviewing her assets…Then asked me for her retainer…What Balls…I was very lucky she fired him as he is a highly skilled expensive divorce attorney. Who would have cause much more financial damage than what eventually occurred…..3 &1/2 years later finally divorced…..Assets are 60% less and I am stuck with Alimony of over $100K per year. Now after 16 years I’m trying to retire and not sure if I can ….Divorce shouldn’t have to take the life blood from people who go through it….

  26. My husband new he could use the custody evaluator – and could get MY attorneys to align with him if enough money was involved. So he paid them over $100k and the custody evaluator $14k to take my children from me. He was given the recommendation he wanted for primary custody, and then he promptly sold them back to me by telling me I had to give up more than $2 million in assets and income. The actual value is much higher over time from what I had to give up. Closer to $5 million.
    My attorneys made sure I bought a new home before my final decree so they could keep running up my fees. They wanted me to sign a promissory note so they would be free to put a lien on my new home.
    They do this on a regular basis so they can take homes from their victims. Using children as leverage, and to keep you a hostage while they run you into the ground. We are “throwaway” clients. https://www.facebook.com/RebeccaBennettGA

    • Correction: my husband KNEW he could use our children as pawns, waging a FAKE custody fight to leave me with an unfair settlement, and in a failing position around caring for our children.

      This is what he did to his first wife, only my attorneys would not use that information which they had easy access to, when they told me they would. My problem was not my husband…it was the greedy, dishonest attorneys who knew they were setting up to fail, unconcerned about what this would do to our CHILDREN.

      His son from that first marriage…after father and cruel attorney destroyed the mother? That son never recovered. Drugs, theft, arrests, treatment centers…and finally suicide this past year. This divorce was in the Atlanta area, and three fathers have committed suicide in the past two years after similar custody fights where they were targeted to lose, just like I was targeted to lose in my case. It is happening to all of us because we UNTIL NOW had no way to know what could happen. Trust me, I tried very hard to research and find information to help me through…so thank you to Divorce Corp and also my organization My Advocate Center for changing that. (same goes for others across our country – we are all making a difference.)

      What these attorneys are doing to KIDS by destroying good mothers and good fathers…needs to be STOPPED now. @MyAdvocateCentr #GreenLightAugusta #NeedsofChildren #NeedforGreen

      ***What we’ve learned, we can now apply to help interrupt this and prevent more tragedy.
      Spotlight on Augusta, GA for this purpose: http://www.myadvocatecenter.com/green-light-augusta-children-need-fathers/

  27. Court denied me property division and instead drained me and family after I was bled dry, and even my second wife by excessive spousal support of 20 years for a 14 year marriage…what the Brits call the magic solution but the term is univedsally applicable . The beauty of this approach is it forces one to divert taxes to meet spousal support obligations. This guarantees that when family court is finished with you you will end up in Tax Court forever( with no time to ever fight injustice in family court) and have up to 90% garnisheed…this includes social security and olad age payments.

    I started out as a millionaire in 1992 with a 50 person high-tech company and now am on welfare of $650 a month with no prospect of working as 90% will be garnished.

    Sad to say, but I consider myself better of than many fellow divorce zombies ( the legal living dead).

    On the bright side, it leaves me with time for charitable work and family law reform movement activities, including pursuing my LL.M.

    Keep up the good work, Divorce Corp…and may you have a great conference in Novemeber.

  28. Me? Broke. I have a client I’ve done nearly a million dollars of business with over a decade. She wants me to handle a very small project. I’m doing it for free, hidden away like a criminal because I want to keep the client happy and I don’t want to have to prove in court that it really is small. If I was willing to openly hand over 50% of the work to the ex, that would not be enough for her and her lawyers. I currently have no way to do the work and get the profits to my kids. The world is truly insane.

  29. I was bankrupted, foreclosed on, evicted twice and jailed 5 times. All illegal and based on “imputed” income I did not have. The (criminal) judge picked random, round numbers for child “support” (which is s misnomer as it does not go to my children). When I had no real income I child support accrued and they kept adding 18% interest plus tens of thousands in legal fees on top of that. I borrowed from family for years until I decided to never pay again and stand on the real law with the 36 times the judge broke the law. Will be going to criminal trial shortly to expose the judge and system to the extent the likely also corrupt judge there will allow admission of evidence of the crimes of the family court. . As an entrepreneur and self-employed consultant they destroyed my mental health, ability to work, working capital to start any business and get through cash-flow down turns and far more. Massachusetts divorce judges are ALL prolific criminals. The Mass. Appeals court held up the judges decision even though it was illegal in a doze ways. No explanations other than corruption and incompetence can explain that. This has ruined my life for 9 years already with no end in site. It has done irreparable harm to my children and me and helped no one but lawyers make money. These people are evil, incompetent and criminals.

  30. Three attorneys, until my money ran out…a corrupt judge in Carver County MN, still paying the mom who makes over $100k per year, she takes my son on vacations, I am bankrupt. Housing crash wiped out the rest…..

    Title IVD “child support” has nothing to do with the children, is simply welfare for the wealthy, and helps to destroy fathers, which is what Lenin and the other modern day Leninists who run this unchecked Un-Constitutional sytem want.

    It’s working.

  31. My other favorite part is the ‘parenting plan” that you pay for ($ to system minions) then it is found useless as the mom ignbores it and the court will not even enforce their own ‘order’!

    And, if you dare to bring it before the corrupt judge (in Carver County MN), you are ‘punished’.

    How? You are told to do 100% of the driving for exchanges. And the guardian ad litem (a childless woman) the court assigns to review the abusive (parenting time abuse) situation? Her report is not even admitted by the corrupt judge!

  32. I was lucky to get out with my life! My ex was only interested in preserving his bank accounts and attempted to become a widower instead of a divorcee.

    Plan to write a series of books to educate the public about the real issues we face during a divorce. Anyone interested in sharing a story, send an email to geneva.rogers@gmail.com.

  33. My case is already five years in court and leaving me nearly bankrupt. While men may think that these only happen to them, please know that women also gettting this totaly insane cruelty from the system. I have been paying mySTB ex husband the alimony, child support, paid his debts before during and after marriage, gave him half my life savings sicne he supposedly claims hardship. However, he got a brand new car, takes vacations and even double dipped by taking my kid’s college fund for what snack, candy, clothes or gas he spent while receiving child support. My pension and 401K will be split but he has a quarter of what i have. Then he is sticking me his legal fees when all the while his dirty , abusive lawyer has been spinning the case out of control so they can extort me. Then they even brainwashed my kids as they have been spinning lies after lies in court since it is hard to prove unlike people they deal with on personal level that can see the truth! Seriously? And the court makes all these legal. I am hoping that 20/20 or Dateline provide a series of shows to expose teh truth in divorce courts. This is a travesty and legal rape- men or women!

    • The most recent data is that 96% of alimony is paid by men. You are among the 4% and I’m sure it hurts. It seems that the proportion of female alimony payers is rising. This is not progress toward equality. These awards have to be stopped across the board. A housewife who has never worked outside the home could get an extra share of the assets beyond 50%, to get back on feet and retrained, instead of a lifelong stipend that eventually amounts to several times the couple’s combined worth.

  34. It turns the my stomach to hear the plight of you all, I would probably vomit trying to add my story here. There is a need by all to tell their story and purge the sickness we have experienced, but I would like to suggest other topics that would better suited books for your efforts;
    “Political Activism for Victims of Domestic/Family Law, for Dummies”,
    “How to help Victims of Domestic/Family Law Violence Organize to Achieve Change”,
    “Overcoming Apathy in Victims of Domestic/Family Law so they too will Speak Up for change”,
    “You too Can be an Activist in Domestic/Family Law Reform and Stay Active Until it’s Changed”
    “Spin, Gish Gallop and Woozles, How Corrupt Domestic/Family Court Criminals Achieve their Goals”.
    Education, Organization, Persistence and Consistency of effort are needed to change this system don’t be silent, do what you can to effect the change.

  35. Holy Cow…YES Sam Brown is a total scumbag, and I have the SAME story…my attorney and his were “buddy/buddy” and drug our case into the mud….my wife hired a contractor for $20k and when I couldn’t pay, SAM BROWN also took that case to represent the contractor and sued me for that money also. I filed a complaint with the Maryland BAR assn. In return SAM BROWN sent me threats and personally went after me through my divorce case ….he is a huge turd ball! His morality is below the sewer system!

  36. My net worth when I got separated= 1.1million
    My yearly salary $65k
    I made money on investment properties BEFORE we married.
    Her salary = $70k
    8 years later…. I’m bankrupt. I have no credit. Thank GOD for the good people in my life, but if I don’t pay cash for it…I can’t have it, and neither can my kids…

  37. At 56 I’m living in a store room at work, retirement everything gone. The attorneys are 70k richer. That seems oppressive to me.

  38. Women: This is why you can’t find a good man. No man with a brain will marry and let you steal from him when you get bored and want to file for divorce to be “free” at his expense.

    66% of divorce filings are by women. You gave up on the marriage…you pay for the costs on your time and stop stealing from someone else’s earnings.

  39. I think it is clear from these posts that divorce court is the great equalizer; it screws everyone, men and women, rich and poor, all races, religions, ethnic groups. It also has nothing to do with “the best interests of the children” although this phrase is thrown around a lot in court. It’s about money, deceit, power and fraud. While most women get custody and it is customary for men to get stuck paying child support while their interactions with their kids is severely limited, it is by no means only a “man” problem, as many of your stories suggest. I know that it is hard to get involved beyond one’s own circumstances, after being beaten down financially and socially at the hands of the current family law system, but I hope everyone finds out about organizations within their respective states that are working toward family law reform. It’s a battle but several states have passed laws mandating equal shared parenting, some have provisions encouraging mediation rather than litigation at the mercy of judges and attorneys. It won’t be easy, but if everyone that’s been brutalized in the family courts banded together, we would have millions of people to force a change. As individuals, we are vulnerable; as a unified political force, we can break the back of the current system and change the laws. Please consider joining organizations like National Parents Organization, American Coalition for Fathers and Children, and others at the state and national levels and push for change. If not for ourselves, we should do it for our children; I certainly don’t want my children to go through what I had to endure in court should they ever be in a similar situation.

  40. Midlife crisis divorce from a dangerously disordered person with hidden lifestyle issues.

    Just my legal fees were $30K through three law firms until I found someone who had any understanding of personality disorders and the criminal mind. Each one wouldn’t talk to me without a $10K retainer, and even my final attorney, 10 years later, wouldn’t even write a cover letter for me without me paying him that amount again, because, as he said, he now only takes very expensive cases from my former town.

    I had $0 support for more than half a year, was shut off from our supposedly joint bank account at Day 1 and had to rely on my elderly father for sustenance for me and our six year old daughter. XNPH lied in court and reported only half of his annual income so as to pay $0 in marital support for a long-term marriage, and the minimum child support for shared physical custody. For the next seven years he never provided actual proof of income from any employer, just asserted it in filings, and hid his consulting work, even to the point of informing his tax accountant of consulting names that had never existed before and *not* telling the man about names under which he had consulted during all our years together.

    The people who bought our family home after XNPH demanded that it be sold out from under me and our daughter agreed to lease it back to me so that she could finish her elementary school year in our town — for $10K/month though our mortgage had been $3600. I got them to change their stance.

    After the financial settlement at 10 months, XNPH emptied out our joint six-figure investment account two days before I went to our investment house to take out my 50% share, and the folks there told me there were no flags on the account, that our advisor no longer worked there and that it was all irregularly handled.

    In 10 years I’ve had to move to rentals seven times as XNPH reduced temporary support to zero, I was able to buy and sell one condo but made no upside as it was right at the real estate crash in California, whatever house money I had went into a start-up (again, at the crash), and condo financing wrecked my already-housewife’s credit score.

    So I lost everything, then lost everything again. At one point my daughter was coming to me for 50:50 and I had no food for her so had to ask the local grocery manager to loan me a bag of groceries for a few days until I could pay her. She’d been a single mom in trouble, so she said yes. At the worst of the economic downturn I had to sell all my apartment furniture to pay rent as there were no jobs at an level anywhere, and I came within two days of living in my car.

    That just about sums up my economic experience of divorce in San Diego.

    • Addendum to above: Before all this we’d lived in a million dollar home in New England and in a $1.6M divorce fire sale home in a new gated community in a high-end north county San Diego community … where the home next door sold a year later for $2.6M.

      Years later I realize that my attorney did not protect me by encouraging me to forego marital support — a factor that has changed the entire course of my life. He was tired and just wanted the negotiation session to be over. He also went along with wanting me to relinquish my engagement diamond when our daughter turned 18, my own property, not caring that XNPH’s mother’s new assertion that it had been a gift with provisos, was entirely false and without evidence.

  41. I went to work with the founder of a Georgia organization http://www.MyAdvocateCenter.com so that more of us can tell our stories, but in a way that helps to drive change. As a part of a rapidly growing team we are bringing transparency into cases, informing the public & building up ethical professionals who are a part of the solution. This is about turning around cases, helping parents recover, and turning the tables on these bad practices. Working toward reform on a national level, with our initial focus in GA. Very much in line with Divorce Corp and other influential groups. Together we can get this done.

    My story is like many others: my own attorneys managed my case in a way to destabilize me and my children. They withheld evidence & testimony from the court, blocked my opportunities to defend myself and to prevail.

    A key event: they would not let me see the custody report being used to create duress and force an unfair settlement. Had I seen the report done on my case, I would have been able to fire my counsel and have my case salvaged. The evidence showing my attorneys’ misconduct is severe. It puts so many more cases and damages into context. Actionable context.

    My attorneys worked with their custody expert friends to help my husband take my children away, so that he could immediately SELL them back to me for $2 million+. They did much more harm than this, as it was not just about financially damaging me. (so one of our topics is the use of false allegations to manipulate a FAKE custody fight.)

    These attorneys make parents more vulnerable…and they took vulnerable mothers like me and used us to “entertain” other clients. Exploiting their own clients…while putting children in harm’s way. (it’s bad enough what they do on “regular” cases where good parents are harmed, but USING clients to distract other clients? Putting clients together this way…as in a dating service? Come on… It just shows how arrogant, callous & unaccountable they are.)

    My legal fees – just mine – and not including all the other “experts” brought into the case – were close to $200,000.00

    My case against these attorneys is being turned into a template for how to dissect and reveal attorney misconduct on child custody cases. We can show actual fraud, plus various forms of malpractice, etc.

  42. to make a long story short… i went homeless… went through the dehumanizing shelter system… onto public assistance… all because of the corrupt divorce courts in Westchester NY… but i still believe in JUSTICE AND RULE OF LAW… I will not give up the fight for justice and rule of law… even if i have to live in a box under the Brooklyn Bridge…

    • Michael, Sorry. Please join our reform movement. We also believe in justice and rule of law, provided we can reform some of the laws to better serve the interests of the general public rather than the interests of the lawyers and judges. Thanks

  43. A ruinous divorce and custody battle starts with a false belief: That one partner is “right” and the System will make the partner who is in the wrong “pay” for their actions/misdeeds. When acrimonious separation occurs, the partners are so enraged at each other that both lose sight of what SHOULD be the actual goal of the process – the orderly dissolution of a marriage and the resumption of their lives. Avaricious lawyers and morally bankrupt judges feed on this acrimony and contentiousness, and early in the process, “decide” who will be the “winner” and who will be the “loser”. Once that decision has been made by the people in power, EVERYTHING YOU AS THE LOSER DO TO FIGHT AGAINST THAT DECISION IS DOOMED TO EXPENSIVE, RUINOUS FAILURE. Where most people make their crucial mistake is that when their case takes a downturn and they start losing motions, getting cited for contempt in spite of evidence to counter the charge – at this point, losing parties decide, “My lawyer
    must be crap – time to find a new one.” THAT is where your slide into financial ruin begins.

    When it looks like you’re starting to lose the case , guess what? YOU’VE ALREADY LOST! Further fighting will just waste your money, time and dignity.

    So what to do? The only thing you can do is talk (not yell, not accuse, not complain, but talk) with your ex, and say, “I’m sorry we all ended up in such an unhappy place. What will it take from me to end the war?” Listen to that response and really, really try to find a way to meet them there. Decide what is the minimum amount of time you can accept with your kids, and the maximum amount of money you can give them in exchange for that time – because that is all it is about. You buy access to your children with your support/maintenance dollars in the American system.

    America’s family law system is a joke, and sorely overdue for reform, but that reform, if it happens at all, will take a decade or more to commence, because very powerful interests will work mightily to protect their cash cow. The crux of what I am saying is this: The system can definitely outlast your resources, so squandering all of your money in a fruitless attempt to emerge victorious is foolhardy and short-sighted. Anger between parents poisons the lives, hearts and minds of children, who really want nothing more that to be able to safely love each parent in their own way without fear of reprisals from the other parent. By fanning the flames of discord, even if you are 100% in the right and your partner is Satan’s Sidekick, just hurts your children AND it is a waste of time, talent and money.

    Settle early – forgive everything and settle, preferably BEFORE anyone sees a lawyer. Just swallow your pride, cut your losses, and resolve that your goal is to quickly and efficiently end the marriage. A failed marriage results from your own mistakes, and mistakes are costly by nature. Don’t throw good money after bad. Avoiding the battle is the only way to win the war.

  44. They got my money but not my spirit. Maybe somebody will choke on the material goods that were taken from me. I’ve learned to live without a lot of stuff and that is a good thing.

  45. I believe that it is a sad thing when we live in a country that allows it’s own judicial system to strip naked it citizens. Especially it’s children in family court! It have been through a 5 year divorce and have had all the same things happen to me that have happened to everyone leaving comments on this website, crooked lawyers and judges who are one sided and do not follow State Divorce Laws. I agree they should all be held accountable by the very system they hang us in. I had four lawyers in the same county and then a fifth lawyer from another county thinking this would help, it did not! I would like to say the only recourse we have as a people is to not give our lives over to this system. Negotiate your divorce yourselves be adults and come to agreements, over everything!!! Don’t get yourself into this system in the first place, learn from the mistakes of others. If we could somehow make a system that does not include lawyers, then we would brake this vicious cycle from happening to the citizens of this country. You can try the political side of this arena, but judges have wealthy lawyers getting them elected to the benches in this country, it’s hard to break that trend, they have the money and connections, I have tried. Again, I say take matters into your own hands let the public know that they don’t have to be victims in this terrible world of family court! Let our voices be a cry to the people!

  46. Lawyers cashed in all the family liquidity and maxed out all the available credit for their fees and costs, Judges nephew got the house and the legal bills are still mounting. Family court lawyer rolled in all the debts including auto accident insurance claim and walked off leaving me with medical debts. I have as many do a mother who can do what she wants to the children and as I was told she can lie and cheat the system all day long no one is going to do anyhting about it.

    I now earn exactly 264.00 or less sometimes after state imposed fees for each child and interest. per month after all child support, legal fees and Friend of the court fees are paid out. From that I have to pay an additional 50.00 per month for other GAL fees, auto insurance and gas so I can work and I survive reasonably well on a friends help and about $ 20.00 for food. I have never ever seen a tax return, even though I live on less than poverty asd some corporation intercepts it. I broke some of my teeth and can’t afford to have them fixed, I need spectacles and cannot afford those neither. Now since I used to earn a very good income and have never been successful in having the amount reduced based on the judegs ruling that I am imputed, and like all guys out there after certain types of accusations are made, you will be lucky to get a job shovelling shit, I am due at any time for my next round of huber or jail depneding on the mood of the judge. Quite a feat for one who used to believe in the land of the free and the brave not anymore. It would seem like we are being taught some kind of lesson, I am still trying to figure it out. History does tell us one lesson, which is when the lawyers start to mess with families, the whole society follows a path of destruction. And lawyer s have been doing this sort of thing for thousands of years. Do not ever trust one, move your money abroad if you can find somewhere safe and encourage boys to go to colleges like ireland, or Europe if you can. South America is not bad either.

  47. A bank can take your home when you don’t make the payments on it. A child protection agency can take your children when they have been abused. The IRS can garnish your wages when you don’t pay taxes. The right spouse can do all these things whenever they want to.