Yes this question is a setup to a series of questions about gender equality.
Here is the seventh in a series of Divorce Corp polls. Please vote only once. Many have asked if we would track the voting from men and women separately, so we are giving that a try. We will post the results after we have received a statistically significant number of votes.
[polldaddy poll=7862888]
And here are the results, accurate to within + or – 2%
Over half of our Facebook followers are women (59%). The opinions of Americans are changing. The vast majority of us, men and women, believe in equality. There are two wage earners in over 75% of married couples these days. Women comprise 50% of the workforce. Women between the ages of 25 and 34 earn 94% of what men earn, and it is 100% when comparable education and job description are factored into the comparison.
We conclude that the vast majority of men and women want to be treated equally and fairly in today’s America. Although there are some outspoken special interest groups still advocating that one gender should have special rights over the other, these are becoming small, withering minorities. Grandpa’s and grandma’s generation, where discrimination of all sorts was acceptable, no longer shape modern American thinking.
We must now change our laws to reflect a modern America where all people are treated equally under the law. If you wish to join our movement to reform the family laws to reflect true equality, please sign up on our reform list. Thank you.
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THERE IS AN EXCEPTION IF THERE IS CHILD ABUSE OR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
There should be criminal consequences if either spouse/parent abuses the other or the children. Agreed.
The problem is psychological abuse is so common and not taken into account. Physical abuse is obvious but so many spouses AND childrens hearts &, brains are abused and its ignored. We have so many kids growing up scarred for life and its evident everywhere.
I agree pschological abuse is become like a cancer to all of us as children of disfunctional enviorments, the body pain that gets stuck becomes a burden on society at large. I am a “gas Light” victim, The fear being scarred for my life followed thru my adult life, shadow’s confussion, who am I, the work will almost kill you, to just be free of the mistake for following my mothers moccisians. Let go It drew to me a man that tried to kill me thu love fraud,2008 to claim all the marrital estate, he posioned me. PROVE IT, SOCIOPATHS ARE DANGERIOUS common perhaps these day’s people, will do anythng greed, six attorney 100K he now has my corp buildings, works accoss the street and whistles and laugh’s, insurance fraud, unsolved body tags, freak accidents, Museum thief of unsloved mystery’s of natinal treasure troves, adultry, you name it thow the entire book on the Superior court judges son, who came from a linerage of superior court judges, the last of the seed. Thank god, Now I can only say I may have been raised poor as a church mice not allowed to lie or I got a whipping. How ever the reason I attracked this into my life is not so much a mystery, rather evidence of what happens in this country when your born native american and are told not to speak or they will kill you like they did all those that came before you. I was denied my birth right to practice the way of my people from birth, till legally adopted by jews. I am living proff of being an inspritation to help others today rise above the injustice of the government. Interesting twist occurred in the story. I also ended up with stollen native american artifacts, funny how the native american blood line came out trying to gift these sacred artifacts back, OMG. Life what an adventure when your bullied and have no control. You Feel powerless and have spoken to deaf ears in a court room all because of dealing with the elite society, who taught him very well how. TOo too…I’ll rail road you thru the system, one threat after the other. As I called him out he spun out of control and is now totally out of control and no one in this tiny town will touch him. “Sin in hast repent at leasure”. The anger is enough to drive one insane, when it’s in you face daily, I ran away left all. Only now I had to come back to face my greatest demmon. Who do you trust, hard to know especially when you say I was self made. The great American dream Story, lol., an inspiration to many perhaps …. time heal all Karma. At the moment I am on save your self time. Sell out get out as quietly as possible ,you save your own life has become my mantra never look back at the. Mask you carried around to show all how much you ex had helped you, so proud of his credential, who’s who… finding the lost part of my self when I left Santa Fe, NM as a successful gallerist and internationally acclaimed curator …. to nothing over night hollowed out like a bone wow stil a very beautiful woman that had been able to forgive shed the lesson and keep the wisdom. Acceoting my lot in life I am not complaining just breathing. thru each day as it unfolds. Staying storng and resilant as my ancestors would be so proud that this little native american girl is still stornger and braver than ever not afraid to come out and shine. I believe I will sometime help many other people thru this unbelievable story of lost hope. Peace be with you………….
Oh how true this is. My grandson is 7 and has been very vocal about wanting to spend the majority of time with his dad. The mother resents this so has filed for sole custody after 4 years of joint custody. I suspect that she has a mild form of Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy which is a behavior pattern in which the parent persistently fabricates or induces illness in a child with the intent of keeping in contact with hospitals and physicians. The mother poses as being a good parent by “saving: the child from medical catastrophe and the child serves as a manipulative object. As an infant he had an allergy to cow’s milk (which he has outgrown-most children do). This allergy is documented on his medical record, yet she continued to give him cow’s milk until the physician got stern with her. At 6 years old she insisted that the child had allergies, even though he displayed no symptoms at his dad’s house or at school. Allergy tests proved negative. He complained of an intermittent stomach for a week, as did many of his classmates. She insisted he be tested for gluten intolerance and celiac sprue, despite the physician stating that he had no symptoms that would suggest either conditions. Tests were negative. Now she says he has anxiety and depression when with her. No sign of either when with his dad or at school. Wants him on medication.She made him get a manicure and pedicure. He told his dad how much he hated having it done and it was for girls. So much more psychological abuse (which I have documented) has occurred over the past 4 years. What does one do?????
The problem with psychological abuse is that it is very difficult to prove in court because it is often done in isolation and there is no latent trace that cannot be discounted by a lawyer who is so inclined. My ex is a psychopath who’s parents have armed with the most expensive lawyer they can afford. As a result I have to drive 40 miles away and pay for the privilege to see my child once every two weeks until I prove that I am not a threat to my son. I have had to answer to false allegations of substance abuse, abuse, vagrancy, and neglect. The courts questioned none of it. Unfortunately for her, her legal strategy is building a qualified, third party record that all allegations are false. Just a shame that I have to miss years of my son’s life waiting for the BS to stop.
Indeed, there are no exceptions to equal justice, and thus real equality. Chivalry and placing women on a pedestal is the perequsite to feminism that has allowed the exaggerated status of women to create such an imbalance between men and women.
This female does agree wholeheartedly with J Sorge….
Accountable system when children and families are failed. Especially when criminal testimony is heard and heard over again by several victims in family court. WA state DSHS said the judge should of done better. Protect our most vulnerable -Children first!!!
Child and Family Advocate KM
Diane, could you explain what the exception is or should be?
If there is a false allegation of Domestic Violence the accuser should be incarcerated for no less than 5 years.
Mrs hunter, not sure what you are eluding to but women and men abuse at equal rates yet all support is for women. The violence against women act is gender biased. How are we working towards equality with your thought process
CORRECTION/CLARIFICATION: Statistically mothers abuse (physically (including sexual assault) and psychologically) child at substantially greater rate than fathers; some statistics stating up to 8x as much. So why is it that courts nonetheless give custody to the mother 90%+? The court’s decisions are why the family is deteriorating along with the greatness of this country. One possible answer being divorce is a 50 Billion dollar business in USA. Judges, lawyers and DHR staff profit greatly from keeping parents at odds and the custody arrangement dysfunctional.
So you are saying women should get different punishment then men for child abuse or domestic violence?
Women get violent too. Women should get treated equally under the law if they commit child abuse or domestic violence. Both of my ex wives beat me, but I never laid a hand on either of them.
My comment is directed to Diane Hunter.
And I thought I was the only one. The ex started our bed on fire. She was taken away in handcuffs, and spent two weeks in confinement. But of course in front of the Family Court Judge, she, her daughter, and their high priced attorney from West Palm Beach, whom, of course I was ordered to pay for, made me look like the bad guy. And of course I am strapped for life with Permanent Alimony.
Studies show that the initiators of domestice voilence are equally men and women, yet men are mostly arrested with their names in the media, while the women’s names are with held from the media. Men and women should be held to the same standards of behavior and consequences for wrong doing should be the same, regardless of gender.
AGREE in cases of domestic violence, however, the abuser got custody…how… the courts are inadequately trained in issues of domestic violence in my state. Several other women have faced the same discriminatory practices.
Is it your position that abuse of violence by one sex should be treated differently from the same behavior of the other sex?
There are a lot of comments on here that child abuse and domestic violence is equal from both men and women. I have never seen a study that backs this comment. As a matter of fact the American Bar Association states that there are 10 Divorce Myths surrounding custody and abuse that clearly state that less than 2% of women that make allegations of Domestic Violence and Child Abuse are false. Also, men are clearly physically stronger than women. I live in Texas which is still very patriarchal and as a society in this country this is true even in our religions. My personal experience in Texas is that men can physically, sexually and emotionally abuse women and children without consequence or very little consequence. Even if they have a history of molesting children and domestic violence with convictions of more than one victim that they have been previously prosecuted for.
I do not want this to be about men against women or women against men. Clearly there were things that were set up in the Family Courts many years ago to keep cases in ongoing litigation. Countless numbers of children have been placed in abusive homes and kept from the protective parent. Some of these children have now grown up and are adults that are abusing others and end up incarcerated for all types of crimes. It is money that motivates all of this corruption and bias in the court and our government. These agencies are virtually unaccountable for what they do with our tax dollars and because of this corruption it has destroyed our families some of our childhoods and our children’s childhoods.
These agencies and courts are not ignorant and these systems were put in place 20-30 years ago possibly even longer than this. It is only now that people are speaking out about it when these 2nd and 3rd generation children have grown up that experienced this abuse first hand and it was reported to authorities/courts/officials/experts and they were not protected by law enforcement or the courts.
I do not know what the solution to the problem is but first and foremost if our government agencies and courts are able to get grant, campaign or lobby money from any organization
there will always be an agenda. This money comes from the taxpayer already. Eliminate the agendas and pay our officials more. The principals are already truth and some of these laws that have been made are terrible and harming citizens more than helping them.
Some of these people that are abusing children which were probably abused themselves as children may still be helped to overcome their problems. Then they could be more healthy adults and parents. Which I know all children prefer. As far as I am concerned this should be put into our punishment system with real scientific humane approaches for resolution.
We are already paying for Grant money that is unaccounted for and does nothing in private not for profits that do nothing to really help in domestic violence as well as many court officials sit on the board of these not for profits. Much conflict of interest.
I believe these programs were never set up without an agenda and have disguised themselves as useful programs that billions of taxpayer money is going into.
We have all been children once and know they are human beings not puppets or property to be fought over in courts while grant money and litigation sucks everyone dry.
I love my children and am not a perfect parent. I believe there father loves them too as much as he is capable of. But it does not change the fact that he is a registered sex offender, that he has physically abused them and they are afraid of him. The courts have made much money off of this case with taxpayer money and my money that has been in the courts since we divorced 9 years ago before one of our children was even born.
If my children could have their choice they would like their father to get help and not hurt them anymore. They would like to live with their mom and choose when they see their father. They are 9 and 11 now and all of this could change later if there father stopped abusing them. But at this point once they finally escape from their father they may have very little to do with him ever again. They feel imprisoned and have been hurt so much already while many organizations have made money just from this case alone.
I hope that we as americans can gain control of our lives in this country in order to provide for and give our children a loving secure environment that they may grow up in. That real programs are provided to emotionally, physically or sexually abused children and adults to recover so they can be healthy adults and parents.
Not every one that is abused abuses others but many do. All of this country could use a good healthy dose of change and recovery.
Grow Up americans!
Hi Tanya, beware the American Bar Association is our primary enemy and do not want us to “Grow Up”. Their propaganda is skillfully crafted to distort facts and shunt progress. Within that 98% of “validated abuse cases”, much is comprised of nebulous “emotional abuse”. I presume by “Grow Up americans” you agree with our childhood mantra that “sticks and stones might break my bones but (your insulting) words will never hurt me.” Certainly a well-adjusted mature adult reflecting on the First Amendment recognizes this is expected of us adults – see, free speech requires emotionally tough listeners – its our covenant as Americans. We expect everyone to “Grow up” but the ABA likes when adults continue to parade as immature kids. In contrast, child protective services expects even kids to appreciate the benefits and consequences of our First Amendment claim and ignores reports of “emotional abuse” against children. Strange then that our courts accept the claims of weak immature people as fault of the other. Even intentionally abusive words are protected (see multiple US Supreme Court ops) – Why, I believe because we are a stronger people when we are able to speak our minds, it releases anger that might otherwise lead to explosive physical abuse and it allows us to expose the mess in our heads (mostly subconscious mind). By exposing the mess (that we might not have even known was buried) we “Grow Up” by exposing, removing and addressing the pains of our past locked deeply within.
Want to see how crafty these skilled ABA attorneys can be? Check out their testimony at legislative hearings aimed at improving the law. Here in WA all legislative hearings are tape recorded on http://www.TVW.org .. you might have something similar in Texas to remotely review relevant testimonials. Look carefully for subtle use of scare tactics they use to keep the game in play. Beware of anything reported by ABA and other enemies of progress. Cheers. MB
I agree, it depends on the circumstances and if the woman gave up a career to raise her family. Domestic Violence should be a factor as well.
DV is a game played many times in divorce custody cases to gain full custody and control the other parent.
Courts hand out DV protection orderes like candy with little or NO proof!
It is a sad truth that women can push our buttons to the point of snapping and courts care nothing about this.
In my case my wife said “I can do anything I want and I will win because I am a woman”!!!
She would hit me, slammed and kicked doors and yelled at me all with the CHILDREN present and the police and Judge did nothing about it. I could go no where and was not allowed to do anything that involved leaving the house including mowing the yard!
I was the primary care taker who took care of the kids and could proove it yet she got the kids and do you think she followed the court order or was punished by the court in the many times she violated it?
Oh and her sister is a person who works for DHS (social worker) and both of her other sisters are divorced as well!
Equallity should be the starting point and then we need to look at anything else that merits not having equal parenting with evidence not hear say.
DV even if done does not mean you are not a good parent to the children and DV could have been provoked! In my case I fled my own home and left my children with her and feared for my children when she had her episodes!
Mitchell S. Sanderson
Diane, I found your comment to be gender bias. child abuse and domestic violence should not be the assumption that is only a man problem. I have seen both ways…
An exception to what?
The question is
Should men and women be treated equally in the United States?
Then you state “There is an exception if there is child abuse”
So, are you saying if there is child abuse than the abuser if one gender should be treated differently for than an abuser of a different gender?
Because if you are not and you are only saying if one of two people are a child abuser than they should be treated differently than the other regardless of gender, than it has nothing to do with the question at hand.
We might as well start saying with the exception of one of them being a serial killer. Or one of them being an active Meth addict. Etc., Etc.
Hello Diane,
Domestic violence is genderless issue. It can happen to male or female or any person. Do not forget the facts that there are hundreds of false allegations of domestic violence and child abuse incidents in the United States of American. I am one of them and I have a first-hand experience of it. I was falsely accused of domestic violence and child abuse. I was accused in a family court, not in criminal court. DA never charged me any of it, but family court did not tossed it as a false allegation. In fact, they loved it.
So, when you or your loved ones go through this type of false allegation, then you will understand the corrupt and dysfunctional legal system in the USA.
There should be equal repercussions for child abuse and domestic violence regardless of gender as well.
Not just in the States….but worldwide.
:):)
There should be criminal charges if false charges are filed. If those abuse charges are found to be false, the accuser and attorneys that encourage these false claims should also face charges. It is illegal to file false police reports but rarely does someone in divorce proceedings ever get charged and I’ve never heard of a lawyer being held accountable for instructing clients to do so.
I could not agree MORE !! Women who fake domestic abuse should GO TO JAIL !!! They are putting other women at risk who really ARE being abused. And USING THEIR RESOURCES….like women’s shelters, etc. And lawyer’s who advise them to do so SHOULD GO TO JAIL !!! It is a shame that a law passed to protect abused women would ONLY encourage MORE OF THEM TO FAKE IT !!!
hi Lisa, Have you heard of cases where the pretender is willing to accept he inconvenience of the shelter? All cases I’ve heard the claim of abuse is used to eject the earning partner out of the family residence. Considering he/she is paying for said residence this well rehearsed tactic also messes with their psych and tends to entice the very evidence required of the Family Court’s “assumed guilty until proven guilty” stance.
Unfortunately, while this on itself is hideous, the true harm IMHO is protecting the overly fragile “abused” partner from getting required medical, pysch attention or counseling. The courts wrongly assume the apparent “brokenness” (if not faked) of the petitioner is due to their partner … oddly, someone who just a few years prior was a loving mate! Could the behavior of the “abused” contribute their mate radical reversal. Could some of these “abused” be adults who, as adolescents, were the purported 1 of 5 who face abused as children. Studies show these unfortunate individuals (mostly female) are prone to being sensitized (akin to PTSD) and up to 15 time more likely to have challenging personality disorders (possible coping mechanism). No studies directly confirm but some support the hypothesis http://www.healthyplace.com/abuse/articles/symptoms-adult-survivors-childhood-sexual-abuse/. The current inhumane processes wrongly point blame, destroys families, and leaves the broken victim in pain. MB
If you don’t have equality in justice, then you don’t have equality. To many concessions are made to privilege and against those who have none. We are all created equal from the moment of our invention. We may not all live that way or even die that way. But we have the inalienably to try. The first line of defense in these rights is a judicial system that is not influenced by Privilege, Race,Social Standings, Gender or Political Power. From my point of view I honestly don’t understand how this poll question could even be asked. It is juvenile.
Good luck trying to explain that one
Agreed, elementary but what’s more telling is, even us, the select set of folks caught in and ripped apart by this mess, willing to devote our attention to this critical issue, are not 100% in support of this constitutionally established right, re-established and ratified thru suffrage and civil rights movements of the last 150 yrs. If we are not 100%, makes me concerned about our front-line judicial authorities and society at large.
If men and women are not treated equally this leads to judicial abuse, unfortunately or Family Courts are already in systemic failure due to this inequity and people are suffering tremendously.
Women pay alimony so why shouldn’t men and women be treated equally when it comes to child support and custody,
Hint; to get the right answer before I casted my vote; I had to answer the following question :
Are Men and Women Are Treated Equally in the United Stats today?, however; since you will be voting, I will not tell you what was my answer to that question.
Question is simply too broad in implication – as opposed to “subject to situational bias”?. Of course, the answer should be nothing but “yes”.
Equality is the very best a man can hope for. There’ll be very few full custody Dads unless the Moms are in jail or rehab.
I went thru divorce recently, as an immigrant and a physician, I realized that the equality between men and women doesn’t exist in family courts. Men/fathers are always viewed as guilty, until proved otherwise. It took tons of time, money, effort and emotion to prove that to court – still, I didn’t get equal opportunity to care for our children.
I think women and men should be treated the same in the usa, I feel if a women beats a man she should go to jail just like a man would, It is no fair that the man gets blamed for everything….
Children deserve protection. They deserve both parents.
And the law of the USA states; which States are supposed to follow (but don’t) even though State law mirrors Federal law is the it is unconstitutional under the “gender disparate treat” theory / gender discrimination, to presume mothers are better qualified to parent than fathers.
A questions that has haunted me since getting divorced in 2008 where at the trial a psychologist testifying that my ex-wife has a psychological disorder and is an unfit parent along with instances of child endangerment/neglect is that although awarding Joint Custody the judge awarded ex-wife primary residence and ultimate decision making which makes Joint Custody a joke. At 5-years old my son has been diagnosed with a psychological disorder and would have been expelled from kindergarten for psychological and physical abuse of teacher and classmates had ex-wife not stepped back and allow me to intervene. I’ve taken ex-wife back to court twice and as of this month Judge awarded ex-wife Sole Custody !? Judge plain and simply doesn’t give a damn about my now 7-year old son, judge (w0men) simply wants me out of her court.
My vote is no and let me tell you why. In my case, i was married for 14 years. I believe in all attempts in restoring marriage (even in some cases of domestic abuse) i think we have become a society of instant gratification and the downfall of marriages and homes are suffering. In my case my husband had an affair and decided he just wasnt happy anymore, but did not want to face any consequences that result from that. I am not a gold digger but i think it is a very poor ptecedent to set with women who are already stretched by working out of the home and not spending time with children, then now splitting custody which is a good thing for them to have time with their dad but it is still time reduced then to have a judge pretty much say suck,it up buttercup go get a job that pays better or get a degree…this rewuires even more time not focused on children when they need you most. A good decent man would want to know his children are in a good safe place and taken care of along with the mother of his childten. In my case my ex made 3 xs as much as i do not including bonuses up to 20k a year. We both spent thousands of dollars and very high conflict…the most painful,experience ever. I sure got an education on the insanity of the family law system. To this day he is bitter that he has to pay the small amount he does. I have begun to heal and work through forgiveness (not excusing the behavior) it should be more difficult to get divorced in my opinion. More money needs to go to protecting and healing families instead of wasted energy. The best thing i got was that the best advocate for myself is me
Glad to hear that you are healing. Courts said the same “go to college” BS to me . Difference is, the family courts have me living on less than 4$ an hour, my ex is a sociopath with a lawyer, and her family is fairly well upper middle class. I gain pleasure in only knowing that her parents are squandering their retirement on a legal case they know is BS. My son loves me and I am engaged to a women that I met in the first grade. I will survive the evil.
I do agree with the statement made in the film you get as much justice as you can pay for. I was lucky to have an attorney @ $300/hr and i still was slided on issues. I really thought about how so many dont even have that opportunity and i would be in a much worse positiin if i had no legal or spiritual advice.
For me striving to better and not bitter has really helped me
Women fought hard for equality and have obtained it in pretty much all aspects. It is, however, been taken to the point where it is no longer a fight for equality but a fight for revenge. Women and men should be equal in all aspects, including family law and children. Men have no rights before the child is born, during birth and after. A woman can chose to have an abortion with no say from the father or give the child up for adoption. A woman can prevent the father from being a part of his child’s birth with no thought given to the father. The woman nearly every time gets automatic custody and support, both child and spousal. A woman can easily claim false accusations of abuse and the man is automatically assumed guilty. A woman very rarely gets punished for withholding visitation, child support due or being in contempt of court order. A man has virtually no leg to stand on against a woman anymore. It has went way past equality. Like I said, it is to the point of revenge and our families are the scapegoats.
abuses was not part of the question. There should be criminal consequences no matter who you specially for public servants.
New Jersey Alimony Reform commissioned a poll late in 2013 by the Eagleton Institute Center for Public Interest Polling on the issue of alimony reform. The results from a poll of 925 New Jersey adults on four questions related to the purpose of alimony and fairness, showed that there was overwhelming dissatisfaction with the current laws and, most interestingly, little to no difference of opinion based on gender. It seems that there is a “gender myth” surrounding family law. For example, women like alimony and men hate it. The myth is probably the outcome of deeply held and old beliefs from the time when the traditional “family” was commonplace. The poll results can be found on-line at http://njalimonyreform.org/wp-content/uploads/FINAL-NJAR_NJWAR_Alimony_Report_10-8-13.pdf
Exceptions when there is psychological and financial abuse which are components of domestic violence. This abuse disables any family member exposed to this trauma.
Men shoul be treated EQUALLY in all regards, with respect to :
obligations for military service – only men are obligated,
for access to homeless shelters – men are often rejected,
child support – mostly men pay,
access to health care – many women’d health centers, with no men’s centers,
federal funding of health issues related to gender – more money is spent on R&D of women’s health issues
access to their children – most men are refused possession or 50% time with their children after divorce,
effective repreductive birth control – there is no male birth control pill
treatment in the criminal justice system – men are treated more harshly than women for same crimes
treatment in the fammily law system
role modelling of career prospects – boys are excessivley encouraged into sports, with few adult jobs
access to higher education – more women than men attend college
fuunding of college education – women’s scholarships are present , with no men’s scholarships
Problem is that as a country we do not really care abbout kids Oh we say we do but when push comes to shove we really do not. Want proof? Ask most public schooll teachers. Maybe it will change in the near future. Emotional abuse is just as bad as physical abuse and kis are abused both ways every.
Men,women and the “others” should be treated equally since the gay community will be facing this problems.The case today is couples should be treated equally
Of course men and women should be treated equally regarding parental rights just as parents are in intact families. The courts intentionally create and perpetuate litigation with unequal custody orders to generate business for lawyers and psychologists. It is a modern system of slavery and human trafficking. No parent deserves less than equal time with his/her child unless convicted of some crime by a jury of peers, not by a single judge. Parents can agree to less than equal time but the default has to be equal time under the law.
Mark, Very interesting summary of the family court business.
You’re forgetting to mention the fed money the courts receive for performance. Performance being keeping the NCP away from his child.
Well said, Mark! I have watched a friend/co-worker go through an ugly (for him) divorce. During the marriage, his wife intercepted a notice sent to him announcing a new accessystem to his Credit Union Savings Account via telephone. She folllowed the directions given in the announcement and, by impersonating him, ordered checks to be sent to their residence, where she still lived. Long story short, the account – which would have had $208,400 at property division, had nothing. He screamed to his lawyers, who were reluctant to do anything. He was denied any discovery that would have revealed his forged endorsement on the checks she ordered, which were payable to him only. Meanwhile, opposing counsel has a record of discipline for bribing judges, and I’m sure he is now bribing any counsel he opposes. Currently he has a good lawyer whose hands are tied now because of the statute of limitations. One would think he could get justice because of the blocked discovery, but no, not in this court. This is just ONE of the wrongs that occurred, but I hope the message is clear on what goes on in CALIFORNIA Family Law Court.
Mark is on the mark.
Mark, Most intelligible reply yet. Succinct and accurate summary. Let’s accept that everybody parents differently. Unequal custody encourages an indefinite power struggle, money being a prime motivator. I don’t want my wasbund to have the kids because he’s moronic and his values are a menace to the kids, but if I block him, it backfires against everyone.
Following the “Golden Rule”, do unto others as you would have them do unto you, would seem to answer the question of equality. When do we begin treating men and women equally, if not now?
The question is a set up. There is no mention of what this pertains too. Is this about divorced men and woman? or men and women in general?
You’re right, it’s a setup. We will be asking more questions shortly. But in the meantime, do you want equality or gender discrimination?
Just wanted to add that im not a feminist and i do believe men should have more say and i understand how many fathers have been railroaded. I strongly asked for equal parenting time because we both need to be there for the kids. However in my case i was made an example of with new law passed re: more rights for dads . He has final say over education and medical over an enrillment form for school. I as the mother have always handled these issues and activities, and i discussed while he was umm..traveling out of town …persuing his career.. he lied and said i enrolled without his permission when i figured out what was going on then i got yhe whole you are crazy and he really went out of his way to make me think so until he didnt care thathe had $$ and our electric was turned off, locked out of bank account..thats when i filed i did it for the kids. Yet it seems ssociety rewards the more arrogant ypu and your attorney are the more you “win” i found my attorney through a family organization that supports marriage and families. Best advice i got was spiritual
In my state, I am punished as a woman for putting up with a freeloader for 25 years. The law states that whether you are a man or a woman you are entitled to alimony if your spouse was the higher breadwinner.. Thus the law favors my husband in regard to alimony, even though he rarely lifted a finger to do childcare or care for our home. He frittered away his time assuming that I would support him while he pursued his dreams, and didn’t contribute a dime to the household. Is this equality, that I should have to continue supporting him when that’s the very reason I’m divorcing him?
Well, you would experience the same whether you are a woman or a man under the law. What we’d like to know is whether people want equality or not?
no comment
I voted yes. As a man who was trashed even though it was my wife who was the violent, abusive partner — and I took out a protective order against her, which was totally overlooked in the divorce proceedings — I see no justice in sustaining a legal system that demonizes men automatically, regardless of the facts. I feel that equality goes beyond the legal system; it should exist in all aspects of life. It definitely does not exist today.
A very poorly stated question ?there is so much corruption,pay to play in the family courts …..it seems as if the husband who is deemed a batterer and has the financial means to find a liar/lawyer to assist in the clear deceit in the court. process…the husband comes out the so called ‘cat who swollowed the canary’believing he has won….the truth is….the children will carry the pain of knowing that their bio father is deceitful …will never have a loving relationship short or longterm…..as the children grow into adulthood….they will understand the misery of what their bio father put them through and the battering that they witnessed….they will never want anything to do with the man they share their dna with….and he will be the loser….he might have a hefty bank account, take exotic vacations… and love the spoils of the unethical war… but, in the end…he will never be able to enjoy his winnings in that hot,dark place they call hell…..the only winners are the liar/lawyers who make the divorce industry their calling card….my question is? how do they sleep at night……?knowing that they assisted in the destruction of women and children…..?
Being a lawyer requires that you have the immoral fortitude to overlook those very questions. It requires the lawyer to have a moral compass.
some thing just go wrong money is just one of then
Life isn’t always fair, but there should be equality in the unfairness
In this mentioned time and comments I would like to add more towards Men&Women equality. Our children is the Foundation of Human Society. First of all, we should be addressing importance towards Women’s education since their childhood, over the whole issues that we are facing right at this point. here is a few important aspects- a)Faith and culturally defined education, b) working in all aspects of our life equally(includes labor law, enforcement and etc), c) Unifying any meanings of the World (unity of God, Unity of Nation, Unity of Race,Color,Language, Political realm, Countries) It shall be addressed right after the first positive pregnancy test, through Mother’s THOUGHTS, FEELINGS, INTUITIONS, LOVE and etc., Men as a father should be helpful,understanding,supportive and observe every challenging situation during pregnancy, also communicate with a child in every day basis, because Men is responsible for the child’s education after pregnancy especially girls. At this moment all aspects of society are destroyed and there is very limited access for better services. I think there is a lots of work needs to be done within community outreach programs, to better locate the issues over children’s well being without separation of the child from the parents, but responsibly and professionally acting right within first phone call to the Domestic Violence Hotline, Police(911) I think those forensic psychologist’s should be working back to back with police for proper location of the issues, also collaboratively locating necessary services almost immediately (Family Violence Emergency Group)- or you name it :-). If there is a violence and physical harm in its place then everything is clear it shall be enforced without any prejudice defined by gender or etc., This is just my own opinion and without any perspectives to hurt anyone’s feelings, but as a parent, primary care for my child and the father I see there is a hope to change this World for better and for the sake of our children’s future well being. There is a saying: ” I rather educate my child to be Happy than Rich, that the child will be able to understand the value of life not a price” you guys could fix me I do not mind, also please forgive me if I wasn’t sufficient enough on my English which is third language in my life. I am trying my best. I wish all of you to be respected by your children and other parties. No matter who is right or wrong, but we all know how to be beaten by the system in this case children are suffering. Now, I do claim my privilege of common law or statutory and it is better for me not to rely on low graded services. We should start within our own, self educating for betterment of our children. Unjust should stop. Thank you guys and May God bring Peace and understanding upon your children and families.
I think the thing that your’e overlooking is that parents, good parents, shouldn’t have to think about things like this. Iove my son, and would never put him through what his mother has, for money or anything.He still loves me and we’re gonna find a way through it. You sound like a good parent.
Please read this sentence” Men is responsible for the child’s education after*** child is born*** especially girls
chad says:
March 16, 2014 at 12:40 am
Please read this sentence” Men is responsible for the child’s education after*** child is born*** especially girls
@chad, where did you see this one? I know the pendulum has swung to far the woman’s side but I did not have an idea, it would go that far..
Please elaborate on this..
Wahington State is a very unfair state to get a divorce if your are a man. At age 49 my ex-wife was given over 100%. There was no “division of the assets” .
Out of a marital community net worth of 500K she was awarded 600K.
She can earn over 100K per year as a RN with special qualifications that I paid for during the marriage.
There are no children.
If you have a choice, DO NOT live in Washington State unless you are low income or have little to take. Many high net worth individuals seek residence in Washington due to lack of income taxes. That is a false economy. You will lose it all in family court.
In Washington State, If you are a male and go through a divorce that goes to trial, you will leave the court with the “right to pursue happiness” taken away by the family court judge.
Why do you think Boeing moved the HQ?
Have you attempted to appeal? See this WA State Supreme court opinion of the topic of educating a spouse: http://scholar.google.com/scholar_case?case=5023320021811104566&q=washburn&hl=en&as_sdt=4,48
If a career military member is convicted of domestic violence, they will lose their military retired pay and all benefits to their victim spouse/dependants. However, if the civilian spouse of the military member is likewise convicted of domestic violence, there is NO ACCOUNTABILITY and the former spouse receives “lifetime alimony” from the military members retired pay ! – Is this fair ? Obviously, no, but it happens ! Help to repeal the USFSPA – write your federal legislators and tell them how unfair the USFSPA is to military members !
I saw a performance by a woman in a courtroom, she said he pull my hair and put me on the floor ten times in one month in front of the children, fortunately the judge understood that she was a low class actress and called her a liar, he gave the children to the man and all the money to the woman. Go figure!.
Until we change the manner in which child custody divorces are adjudicated no significant enduring positive change and protect for children and fit parents will occur and the family unit and lasting marriages will eventually be no-existent. So ideas: (1) Custody shall in every case be joint with near equal (50-50%) time awarded unless a parent is found by impartial competent authority to be unfit (2) parents ordered to mediate / develop their own parenting plan including custody time, finances and decision making – failing to agree a pre-known standardized schedule (one for parents in close proximity and one for parents far apart) is automatically imposed (3) that judges be appointed by a diverse panel to include parents who have been divorced and their role in court being to ensure the law is administered (4) that being appointed by a panel judge be prohibited from accepting ANY form of gratuity from any source (5) that a panel and if I had my way a jury decided child custody – why is it only a judge does? Who better than adults and likely parents to decide custody? (6) that a database be kept and publically available of a court’s decisions – database to only have case numbers but to include attorney/firms representing so those who may question a judge decision can search for patterns of impropriety.
I think these are great ideas and would be a good start at changing the way the Family courts operate now. No one person should be deciding the fate of a family. I think in custody cases it should only be decided by jury.
And YES, women and men should be treated equally, no matter WHAT the crime is !! If not, then it is no different than any other kind of discrimination.
It should vary depending on individual circumstances. If the female gave up a career to raise her family and finds herself virtually unemployable 25 years later, all while supporting her husbands career. It’s not a yes or no answer.
It is a shame that so many women have Used the system as a means of gaining full custody.
Also, why is there no such thing as a ‘dead beat mommy’ ?
Sometimes I feel as if it is a matter of we want equal rights unless they do not suit the situation.
If there is a fraudulent domestic violence complaint filed the woman should have mandatory encarceration for no less than five years. If her attorney adviced her on how to to commit a fraud he shlould be encarcerated mandatorily for no less than ten years and permanently disbarred from practicing law. Additionally they should pay for all costs involved in defending such an action, a jury trial, plus damages for pain and suffering.
If it is found a woman is involved in parental alienation. Immediate custody reversal, attorneys fees, plus damages, and mandatory itervention to submit to therapy.
If it is found that she has a plan in place to kidnap the child and return to her country of origin. Immediate reversal of custody and deportation.
If found she is abusing the child, immediate custory reversal and supervised visits.
Me and my son are victims of all of the above and have spent over $1.0 MM in legal fees defending against these wrongful actions and after six years it is still not over. It should not have to be this way.
“Should Men and Women be Treated Equally Under the Law in the United States? Poll #7”
If you want an egalitarian society that promotes fairness between both sexes, equally treats both sexes to the law, there should be no exceptions to women taking the lesser path to less jail time and more probationary periods. In fact, women should be held accountable and punished under law the same way men are punished. There cannot be any more “pussy passes” as we call it. Women must be judged the same way men are judged in court.
I have noticed the disparity between both sexes and found that men are held accountable severely and jailed for more time while women are held accountable less severely and given less jailtime, except in extenuating and/or heinous circumstances. The law is the law! Women and men are to be punished equally, period.
On a side note, I am very fed up and angry with women (or children as I call them) who want to make exceptions under law to protect themselves from jailtime. You have to serve jailtime when the law specifically states it! Male or female, who cares! I don’t care about emotion. I care about logic. I care about following the law.
If we cannot follow the law and treat both sexes equally, might as well sink the whole books of laws and let people do whatever they want!
I am happy to see all the interest and sincere comments about the severe shortcomings in our family courts and laws governing divorce, child custody and support. I just hope everyone who has expressed their dissatisfaction goes one step further and become active participants in the movement to change the laws and the climate of greed and injustice that now infests the court system. There are many groups and organizations located around the country that need more support. Find out about the groups in your area and sign up. Call and meet with your legislators, learn about pending legislation to change the current laws, be verbal, be active and be persistent. I am always frustrated when hearing people complaining, yet when you need someone to write or call or attend a meeting, no one wants to do the work and get involved.
David raises a great point that we need to get more involved. The problem, as I see it, is that as soon as the money has run out and the situation has calmed down, perhaps most people don’t want to dwell on the horrible reminders of how negative the fight has been. This is also why I think Joseph Sorge is brilliant. He doesn’t just point out the problems, but proposes we look at some positive, insightful solutions,. Keep up the great work Joseph!
Thank you Rob!
My experience has been that men get away with murder and women have to be perfect. Comparison 75 days in jail $150,000 bond for 2 class c misdemeanors. Registered sex offender 3 child sexual assaults of a 15 year old @ 22 years of age. Less than $300 fine and less than 2 years probation did not have any jail time. Man shot daughter point blank in the face in 2008 Oak Point, Denton County Texas and sentenced to 11 years involuntary manslaughter only serve half the time in Texas out in 5.5 years (never hear about on the news). If a woman does something like this it is national headlines through the whole trial. Local papers in Texas barely even report these crimes and I find them on the Denton County check register. When I see a large amount of money being payed by taxpayer for Family Court then look up the case and find murder. How about 3 month old fractured ribs, brain injury and 2nd degree burns gets 1st degree murder 25 years and gets out in 12.5 years Lewisville, Denton County, Texas 2011. Posted a $40000 bond is declared indigent (where did the bond money come from if he is indigent) has a court appointed attorney that is payed $50000 by taxpayers and a jury trial. Never even on TV or newspaper only one little ad online. These murders take place every day all over Texas and it is a tragedy. The courts make money off of all of this. GOD forbid when a woman commits murder its national news all the way to the trial.
I do not think it is equal punishment. Lets compare male against female same crimes, charges and punishment across the country for 1st degree murder, 2nd degree murder, so on and so forth. In Texas a woman commits a crime and she is punished much harsher.
Then again money can always change the outcome of any charge and punishment regardless of the sex.
I am sorry this is not true. For equal crimes committed, men receive much harsher sentences than women. Read Warren Farrell’s book on the Myth of Male Power.
Agree! Focus on MOVING FORWARD TO POSITIVE CHANGE. Divorce law is archaic and ineffective. We’ve learned plenty from our mistakes; let’s help Joseph effect real reform with real results!
Unfortunately, this question actually hurts our cause. The film and on-going debate are strong evidence to real problems. Any dialog which pits mom rights against dad rights knocks what we are trying to accomplish to an oversimplified elementary school discussion. There are crimes committed daily: abducting kids and driving people into poverty. We must recognize our entire campaign for real reform will be frequently reduced to sound bytes in the media. “Mom vs Dad” is a bad one. I eagerly look forward to more fruitful debate.
Patrick, we agree that pitting mom rights against dad rights is counterproductive. This was not our intention for the Poll. We simply wanted to know if US citizens have reached the point where they are ready to accept both men and women on equal footings under the law. You will see the poll results tomorrow. You might be surprised to see the large percentages of both men and women who now believe in equality under the law.
Yes. Of course, men and women should be treated equally. All people are guaranteed equal protection under the law. Read your US constitutiuon ! Parent time with children should be 50/50 with each parent after divorce. Some US states do this and some western European democracies do this as well. In divorce, both parents should be expected to parent the kids and to support the kis, unless there is a compelling reason to do otherwise. Kids are entitled to TWO parents. That is why they have TWO parents. In Texas, after 14 years of marriage, my wife forced me to leave with no problems like drugs, personal, employment, financial, etc.. She just wanted me to leave and to keep her lifestyle. She wanted her lifestyle to continue with me not in the house,. She now has a maid, a gardener, healthclub membership, annual vacations with the kids, a mortgage-free house, part of my pension, our house, our dog and part of our savings. Everything totaled, she got over $1,000,000 which is pretty good, for a stay-at-home housewife. She got 60% of the community property, because my future earning power was greater than hers (engineer versus a teacher). I have now supported two houses for 7 years, provided health and dental insurance for the kids and get to see my kids only 33% of the time, which is a good deal in Texas. Amazing huh? All of this continues as my life expantancy is 8 years less than hers, even though there is no biological basis for the difference. In the early 1900’s men and women had nearly the same lifespan. Women’s life spans have increased greatly in the last century, due to medical advancements aimed at improving women’s healthcare. Equality would be a blessing we have not yet received.
How about equal rights within the sexes. Women who stay home as full time mothers are treated unfairly by other women. When I returned to the workforce after 15 years I was given no credit for previous experience. And I was given work to do for young women on maternity leave whose salaries were substantially hire than mine. At the same time the courts assigned me an earning capacity which cut off most of my child support, I got no alimony and have no pension because I raised my own kids.
FREE MUSIC with a message against the anti-family courts. Click on my name for ExiledFathers website, listen, download, see lyrics.
Big Black Robe
Divorce Industry Blues
Jail for Judges
Do What You Gotta Do
Sadly,fatherless homes account for the majority of child neglect.
Consider these GOVERNMENT studies, not gender group studies:
63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (Source: U.S. D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census); 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes 85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes (Source: Center for Disease Control); 80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes (Source: Criminal Justice & Behavior, Vol 14, p. 403-26, 1978.);71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes (Source: National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools.); 75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes (Source: Rainbows for all God`s Children.); 70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes (Source: U.S. Dept. of Justice, Special Report, Sept 1988); 85% of all youths sitting in prisons grew up in a fatherless home (Source: Fulton Co. Georgia jail populations, Texas Dept. of Corrections 1992).