46 thoughts on “What should the penalty be for a family law attorney who trades free legal services for sexual favors from a client? Poll #23”
disgusting..
I know there were some favors taken by my ex-spouse’s attorney. He came at me with vicious lies. His name is Richard Fried (Metuchen, NJ). He is a cutthroat liar who will throw things against the wall until something sticks.
Why penalize for this? If it is between two consensual adults, who cares what payment they agree to? Yes, it’s technically prostitution, but so is marriage.
Well said ,
@ Andrew:
A lawyer is a public servant and is in a position of authority over a client, it is unethical for a lawyer to have a sexual relationship with their client. Consent in this situation is not the same as consent of two people with equal power. The same is true for a therapist-client relationship or teacher-student relationship. It is totally inappropriate, unethical, and apparently there needs to be a strong penalty against it to discourage this behavior. I would go further to say that even if prostitution were legal, it is still a conflict of interests and is unethical, I think any lawyer should know this. If the client were a sex trade worker, she should still not have sex with her lawyer, she should pay with U.S. currency like everyone else.
Well and correctly put…
That’s funny, but really… I don’t think it would help anyone. Lawyers don’t provide much value anyway. But hey, maybe you’re a lawyer. Lawyers have setup a system that protects their industry and it’s grown to far and wide both in divorce and other areas. Time to clip their wings! Time to thin the heard!
What? Marriage isn’t prostitution; it’s a covenant between God, man and women. Perhaps you haven’t heard or read the bible about being equally yoked…
This isn’t a put down, but marriage isn’t prostitution…
Family law attorney or anyone for that matter that sleeps with another is adultery unless married.
When you PAY FOR SEX ITS PROSTITUTION! and it’s not always with money
Man – the walking wallet
I turned up at the flooring shop a couple of weeks ago to grab some supplies, banter with the staff, and make off like a bandit (it was payday). There was this guy at the counter, well-kept younger guy. From what I gathered, he owns a jewelry store, is about to get married, and is about to sign off on flooring bill.
The saleslady dealing with him obligatorily asks, “And you’re sure this is the one you want?”
He responds rather off-handedly, “It’s the one she picked. Whatever makes her happy, right?”
And the saleslady says something like, “It’s usually for the best.”
The female manager couldn’t resist adding her two cents in, “What do they say? Happy wife, happy life.” And he grins ecstatically.
I cannot express enough, the sheer stupidity of this encounter. I was mentally screaming at him, but I could not say a thing, because my job relies on men like him. Single men and single women, do NOT buy flooring. Married women buy flooring, with the money of these walking wallets. Being a jeweller, he should have seen the irony of his situation; men have no use for jewellery, and single women won’t spend their own money on expensive jewellery. Jewellers and flooring guys like us would starve if women never got married to blue-pill morons.
Shortly after that, I was working at this older woman’s house; and we were conversing, incidentally, over the Olympics. It may have been a mistake, but it was calculated, and the conversation took the direction of my stating that I was an anti-feminist. As a result, we spent the next twenty minutes shooting down the same tired old arguments about so-called male privilege.
While we came to a reasonable middle ground on the rape issue (she abjectly refuses to believe feminism promotes rape culture, but, she decries the thought of young men being falsely accused and convicted without due process), we never did come to consensus on the wage gap.
She then launched into a story about a couple she knew who bought houses, renovated them, and turned them over for a profit. The man had some prestigious profession but she couldn’t recall that the woman had a job… she just had the final say on interior decorating.
Look guys, you potential walking wallets, you really need to assess the value of the women you’re gonna marry. It doesn’t matter if you have the money or not; it really doesn’t matter. You can afford to keep her happy but what is she doing for you? What can or will she do for you, that you can NOT do for yourself? I’m talking about YOU spending two-thirds of YOUR net income, to get that value out of her; what is THAT value?
If it’s the sex, then you married a prostitute. If you need to spend money on her to make her wet for you, you need to reassess your pick of bride. If money is what makes her tolerate your flaws , you will be spending money on garbage, for the rest of your… marriage. Afterwards, you’ll be spending money on her lawyer. Marriage, in this day in age, is legitimized prostitution. It’s actually worse. If you demand sex, it’s spousal abuse. If you withhold sex, it’s spousal abuse. And if she decides you forced her to perform, it becomes marital rape. You’re gonna marry her because she’s sexy? Well sure… for now.
She cooks? What does she cook? I can attest, that it is cheaper, as a single, to eat out for every meal, than it is to have her cook for you. And unless she’s a damn good cook, you will spend the duration of your marriage, LYING about her cooking. They can’t cook!!! Just look in the cupboard, it’s full of pre-fab meals; you can make that crap yourself, just as good, because they all come with instructions on them.
Before third wave feminism, when women bantered, “what’s your recipe?” They really actually meant, “what’s your recipe?” Now when they ask it, they expect you to show them a box or can. And they can’t even be bothered to make sure you’re eating healthy; I wanna tell you a secret: fast food is healthier than most of the crap in the grocery store.
She cleans your house? So you’re gonna marry a maid. You know you can hire maids, fifteen bucks an hour, for three hours, once a week. Unless you’re a real slob, such as myself; then it’s four hours a week. Likely she’s gonna demand you do your share of the housework, even if she chooses to be a housewife, so what’s the point?
You have things in common? You actually think that she’s interested in your hobbies? It’s a dating MO to hijack your hobby, to get you interested in them. Once she has succeeded, she’s gonna dump your hobby like an old tampon, and she will eventually expect you to do so as well. The goal is that you shouldn’t need anything else but her, you should spend more attention on her, she has needs didn’t you know about. Your needs will revolve around what she thinks she need – end of story.
She’s pretty and brings warmth to your home? Dolls are pretty, and you can buy a fine doll for the expected price of an engagement ring; and it’s a one time payment, not a down payment on a lifelong promise to spreading your wallet.
Now look guys, if your answer to any real or imagined relationship problem, is to reach for your credit card, you really need to assess the value what you’re purchasing.
That’s the real issue; you’re opening your wallet, why are you opening your wallet? You bought her a house, demand she pay her half of the mortgage, or you sell it. You bought her a car, demand she make up half the payment, or you sell it. Better yet, covertly bank half your check, and see how long she makes due with the half you have to offer. Will she step up, put up, or fuck off? Learn to say no, tell her to buy it herself. You have no use for flowers, flowers die. Why buy her flowers? Buy her seeds and gardening gloves and tell her to work for her flowers.
Marriage is supposed to be a partnership. That means both parties have expected value, with expected separation equity; the one who puts in more, gets more out. You are opening your wallet at her bequest; do you really think anything will go back into that wallet when the marriage falls apart? Close your wallet.
I’ve seen more newlyweds fall apart over building brand new houses, than I have over boozing. Something is wrong with that reality.
Wow! Extremely well said.
When lawyers accept sexual favors in exchange for legal fees can also be guilty of criminal fraud. Here’s the scenario: The lawyer and client (with the assistance of a complicit judge) conspire to defraud the former spouse by manufacturing situations that cause the former spouse to be held in indirect civil contempt, through no fault of his own, but nonetheless resulting in a judgement to pay her “legal fees”. The attorney produces a billing statement with fees, the judge deems them reasonable no matter how extravengant, and then orders the former spouse to pay. The crime is that the client already worked the “fees” off in the bedroom so that judgement is simply another payday for her. Any time she needs money, she just does it again and there is absolutely no recourse for the former spouse.
Permanent disbarment – clear violation of ANY code of ethics. The End.
Though immoral I don’t feel method of payment has any bearing or conflict
Ps it is pretty disgusting as is prostitution the oldest trade known to man kind but that’s their business
This issue is not prostitution, it’s more extortion. No one knows the fear and pain of being a young single mother, barely scraping by to pay the bills and retainer. As the custody case gets worse and worse fighting the other parents frivolous motions and having an evidentiary hearing every 3 months. Being at your breaking point of losing your child or losing your home. Then the attorney seeing the weakness and desperation in a mothers need to fight for her child, offers dinner and drinks with the wink, knowing as a scared 21 year old parent I’d do anything to not lose my baby! At first it’s easy to convince yourself it was two consenting adults having fun, even though thing are progressing in your case at a far faster rate. Until he needs a little more “dessert” and you have another motion response due that if not filed on time you can loose custody of your child. This continues for years! It’s abuse from not only the other parent and the court system, but the person who is supposed to be your advocate who fights for you and your child! Who specializes in the law, knowing his actions are wrong but using desperation as a weapon for his own gain! This happens a lot more than people think and it’s not just two consenting adults! It’s a person I power abusing their power!!!
There is no more truth than the one you just said. Disbarment all the way.
You are right! In a divorce, you are fighting for two of the most important things in your life. The future of your children and your financial future. An attorney can easily take advantage of this situation. It is definitely an area where abuse of power can and does happen!
That’s terrible, I hope that didn’t happen to you! If you are 21 years old and they put you through this it’s terrible. But I think that they base family law on criminal law (not sure why). Where if it’s painful enough, both emotionally and financially people will think twice about stepping lightly into another marriage. The problem is, this process seems to do so much more damage, than what’s already been done, it just comes out as extortion for justice. And everyone goes into divorce court expecting some sort of fairness and it’s clearly not there.
I really feel that you went sideways with this question. I don’t think this is a mainstream
occurrence. It is sad to think that it probably does happen that people get so desperate
that they have to trade their bodies for services. But, I don’t think it is an industry wide issue
like unethical judges and indifferent representation.
Very fair. But please read some of the replies. I think we hit a nerve – granted a very raw and ugly nerve.
This is one of the top ” nerve” points. As well it should be. Your life, finances are falling apart. You are in transition. In walks a lawyer who says ” I will take care of it and you” You have no one you can trust, and you have handed over your money. Consensual sex? More emotional sex that THAT lawyer knew from Law school never to do. Ever. It creates betrayal, a loss of trust in relationships, and with the courts, other lawyers, and makes things much much worse. THEY GEY PAID, FOLKS. Now in a case like mine, she marries my ex husband while her husband had come on to me on a different matter. That is predatory, and about the worse thing that can happen as you are in shock. NO LAWYER should EVER do this. Dis- barrment with punitive damages. They should be held accountable. You are at your most vulnerable. then watch how they turn it around. YOU become the person that came on to them. Its terrible. Sanctions and damages awarded. .
This is one of the top ” nerve” points. As well it should be. Your life, finances are falling apart. You are in transition. In walks a lawyer who says ” I will take care of it and you” You have no one you can trust, and you have handed over your money. Consensual sex? More emotional sex that THAT lawyer knew from Law school never to do. Ever. It creates betrayal, a loss of trust in relationships, and with the courts, other lawyers, and makes things much much worse. THEY GEY PAID, FOLKS. Now in a case like mine, she marries my ex husband while her husband had come on to me on a different matter. That is predatory, and about the worse thing that can happen as you are in shock. NO LAWYER should EVER do this. Dis- barrment with punitive damages. They should be held accountable. You are at your most vulnerable. then watch how they turn it around. YOU become the person that came on to them. Its terrible. Sanctions and damages awarded. .
I assume this behavior is against the code of ethics of the bar. It should be. Preying upon disadvantaged persons is low class behavior and should be punshable. Removal of the license to practice law is reasonable, plus payment of damages to the client.
All the above except no penalty. Taking advantage of someone when they have already been scr#ed is the lowes of low. Even criminals have an honor that goes Beyond that
Those that pussy-foot around with removing evil will never understand that there should always be zero tolerance for such evil acts as an attorney taking part in such an unethical act. Just as those who lie, cheat, steal and make false allegations in court, they all deserve the maximum penalty so as to send a clear message… ‘don’t do it ! or you too will do life in prison”. Indeed, life imprisonment is the only logical answer..
Lawlyer Bill and Monica said it was consenual. Lawyer Bill Clinton shouuld never again be a lawyer.
I voted 5 year suspension of license , but that is for first time offence if it happens again then license must be permanently suspended.
I would just like to know how to get my ex’s new wife from representing him. She’s getting sexual favors I suppose.
We’re all suckers at their mercy. I don’t know what they teach them in law school, but it’s more hyperbole than justice. And judges, well they are clearly lawyers egos on steroids. Having been through some divorce court myself, I can easily identify the lie the Judges live. I think they should be forcefully removed from court. I don’t think a judge should work in family court unless they’ve been a family lawyer for over 20 years, be at least 50 years old, have had a family and kids. They have no idea how anything feels unless they have been in this situation. Then they should be held to the highest standard of ethics and accountability as well as custody evaluators and GAL. Custody evaluations must be standardized and require psychological testing of both parents consisting multiple tests and interviews. That these people presume to know what happened in a marriage, charge what they do and make decisions on custody without doing some serious investigation is theft again. It must be nice to get hooked up with the court system and get a free ride on misery! No accountability!
Remove their access to fathers money and you return to fairness. .
If we could get a law with teeth that actually really did start off with the presumption of 50/50 parent time- everything else would magically fall into place. This, the court will not do because as we all know, the transfer of fathers money out of his wallet IS DIRECTLY DEPENDANT UPON there being an UN-even visitation split. Can you say, “every other weekend and maybe a Wednesday here and there”? Consequently, this is why any REAL reform is next to impossible to get passed. Too much money would be lost. That blood money, that mommy-support, ransom, child rental fee, (whatever you want to call it)born on the back of ‘legal-kidnapping, is not the prime reason, but the ONLY reason family court even exists. We all saw the movie Divorce Corp. and how they do divorce in other countries; their system is excellent! Why don’t they move to doing that here?
Answer: MONEY.
We must absolutely MUST remove their access to fathers money or nothing will never, ever change.
Tilting at windmills gentlemen. All we’re doing for 50 years now and still tiling at windmills…
I wish the question was “what should the penalty be for an attorney who has sex with the judge?’
In my case, my judge was young and was in awe of my ex because he is a big time attorney in her former area of practice( which was not family law, by the way!) There was definitely some extra-ordinary communication going on between them. My ex got everything in the divorce.
This happens so often behind closed doors….not only with lawyers but, with judges as well….so awful…..once again ,women are being exploited…especially, when they are so vulnerable,,,,,,some things never change,,,,,there are lawyers who collude with judges and decisions are made in some out of the way place…..those with money and clout and political connections….get what they seek….and it is to destroy the woman and her children…..there are lawyers who should loose their license to practice law,,,,,they are supposed to be ‘officers of the court’ and beyond reproach…..there are certain lawyers who clearly Violate the law,,,and make it up as they go along(with the express consent of the judge-who is their friend)…there are lawyers who Violate the Americans with Disabilities Act in open court by lambasting a disabled person for their particular disability,,,they commit a Hate Crime in open court as well as violate the Ethics of the law…..this has been done in New Jersey and it is completely disgusting…..there is no one to oversea these unscrupulous lawyers who get away with all of these Violations…..there is no one watching the Hen House……thoughts anyone ?
Hi Zenethia,
We are interested in opening up dialogue on your above comments. Can you please email us directly? Outreach(at)divorcecorp.com.
Thank you.
Seriously? to the person who said marriage too, is like prostitution in answer to this question! Perhaps you need to think before spewing venom onto this blog site? Do you know of spouses who pay for services rendered, look at it as prostitution in this light? when have you taken leave of your senses?! This might be the main reason you are divorced!
I have evidence against the opposing attorney and judge in my divorce that both omitted testimony and further altered facts concerning a court date presented in a proposed court order signed into law by the judge. The changes were secretly done in order to hold the hearing without me or my attorneys presence and then hold me in contempt. This same judge billed me for court costs and then signed a judgement ordering me to pay the attorney the same fees and further deposit money into the attorneys tax exempt trust fund
Castrate them all judges too!!!
I semi-respectfully disagree with this logic, or lack thereof.
1. There is no special consideration (or should not be) given to a 21 year old Mom over a 21 year old Dad. This is not a gender issue.
2. There is nothing in the scenario that suggests the client has to sleep with the attorney. It is simply an additional option.
3. If this 21 year old Mom is, “barely scraping by”, well maybe that is her fault for depending on someone else to support her instead of working on her own career. At the very least, it is her choice.
4. “It’s a person I power abusing their power”, no, it is the other person allowing the transaction to take place. They could always pay money instead. Why does the choice of an individual become the fault of another human being? Aren’t you responsible for your own actions?
5. “This happens a lot more than people think”… sources please? I was unaware that there was an epidemic of lawyers forcing people to have sex with them.
6. I would loved to have traded sex for services with my attorney, and I’m a straight male who had a male attorney. The stitches required to fix my physical body would be less painful than the emotional stitches left behind by losing my future earnings for many years to come.
Such a circumstance, I would say amounts to extortion, then rape. It should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
I thought the Lawyer was was the prostitute, but he’ll come out smelling like a rose (statistically speaking – it’s not going anywhere (unless she’s like 9 years old).
The woman however, clearly got screwed; but she knew that going into the deal. Not her first rodeo either.
Give us some hard questions, that was fun!!
This one is a “2 way street” If one trades sexual favors for representation, then that makes an immoral disgusting attorney, and it makes for a slimeball prostitute of a client.
Although there’s nothing wrong with consensual sex between adults, in this case it constitutes an abuse of power by someone in a position of authority and trust.
I believe trading sex for legal services is a rare occurence, but have never seen any statistics.
They should be fined and disbared…. Contempt of court and some jail time! You have got to be tough to make a difference! Right?
I replied “Life in Prison” to the survey, but I wish there was a “None of the above”, but that wasn’t an option. Often polls like this do not have a good answer as an option.
What should occur is the lawyer and client should be charged with “Adultery”, and then “Adultery” should be added to the list of why the other party wants a divorce.
The other party should then sue the lawyer for what is called “Alienation of Affection”.
Custody should usually be given to the party who didn’t have the affair with the lawyer, but then again in some divorces both partners have committed Adultery against the other.
Then you need to have someone figure out if that lawyer lied in court saying good things, which were not true, about the client the lawyer is sleeping with.
And DNA testing needs to be done, at the lawyer’s expense, to figure out if any of the children are actually the children of the lawyer.
Perhaps, the lawyer’s affair is what got this divorce going in the first place?
Like the psychiatrist, the lawyer has the power in the relationship. Therefore this is NOT and NEVER will be a relationship between 2 consenting adults, even if they are both in love. Read the rules about doctor/patient relationships. Massachusetts has opined that there is NEVER a condition underwhich a doctor can be intimate with a patient without losing his/her license.
The answer is an easy one; I always thought adultery was not legal? When a lawyer breaks the law, they should go to jail instead of getting a promotion or actually paid for doing it…
If they can get arrested and get away with it and no penalty put on them ,in Bakersfield ca I know of one attorney how got arrested with a hooker and another one got pick.up as a cross dresser acting like a woman and still have the license to practice law . It was all swept under a rug by a judge
disgusting..
I know there were some favors taken by my ex-spouse’s attorney. He came at me with vicious lies. His name is Richard Fried (Metuchen, NJ). He is a cutthroat liar who will throw things against the wall until something sticks.
Why penalize for this? If it is between two consensual adults, who cares what payment they agree to? Yes, it’s technically prostitution, but so is marriage.
Well said ,
@ Andrew:
A lawyer is a public servant and is in a position of authority over a client, it is unethical for a lawyer to have a sexual relationship with their client. Consent in this situation is not the same as consent of two people with equal power. The same is true for a therapist-client relationship or teacher-student relationship. It is totally inappropriate, unethical, and apparently there needs to be a strong penalty against it to discourage this behavior. I would go further to say that even if prostitution were legal, it is still a conflict of interests and is unethical, I think any lawyer should know this. If the client were a sex trade worker, she should still not have sex with her lawyer, she should pay with U.S. currency like everyone else.
Well and correctly put…
That’s funny, but really… I don’t think it would help anyone. Lawyers don’t provide much value anyway. But hey, maybe you’re a lawyer. Lawyers have setup a system that protects their industry and it’s grown to far and wide both in divorce and other areas. Time to clip their wings! Time to thin the heard!
What? Marriage isn’t prostitution; it’s a covenant between God, man and women. Perhaps you haven’t heard or read the bible about being equally yoked…
This isn’t a put down, but marriage isn’t prostitution…
Family law attorney or anyone for that matter that sleeps with another is adultery unless married.
When you PAY FOR SEX ITS PROSTITUTION! and it’s not always with money
Man – the walking wallet
I turned up at the flooring shop a couple of weeks ago to grab some supplies, banter with the staff, and make off like a bandit (it was payday). There was this guy at the counter, well-kept younger guy. From what I gathered, he owns a jewelry store, is about to get married, and is about to sign off on flooring bill.
The saleslady dealing with him obligatorily asks, “And you’re sure this is the one you want?”
He responds rather off-handedly, “It’s the one she picked. Whatever makes her happy, right?”
And the saleslady says something like, “It’s usually for the best.”
The female manager couldn’t resist adding her two cents in, “What do they say? Happy wife, happy life.” And he grins ecstatically.
I cannot express enough, the sheer stupidity of this encounter. I was mentally screaming at him, but I could not say a thing, because my job relies on men like him. Single men and single women, do NOT buy flooring. Married women buy flooring, with the money of these walking wallets. Being a jeweller, he should have seen the irony of his situation; men have no use for jewellery, and single women won’t spend their own money on expensive jewellery. Jewellers and flooring guys like us would starve if women never got married to blue-pill morons.
Shortly after that, I was working at this older woman’s house; and we were conversing, incidentally, over the Olympics. It may have been a mistake, but it was calculated, and the conversation took the direction of my stating that I was an anti-feminist. As a result, we spent the next twenty minutes shooting down the same tired old arguments about so-called male privilege.
While we came to a reasonable middle ground on the rape issue (she abjectly refuses to believe feminism promotes rape culture, but, she decries the thought of young men being falsely accused and convicted without due process), we never did come to consensus on the wage gap.
She then launched into a story about a couple she knew who bought houses, renovated them, and turned them over for a profit. The man had some prestigious profession but she couldn’t recall that the woman had a job… she just had the final say on interior decorating.
Look guys, you potential walking wallets, you really need to assess the value of the women you’re gonna marry. It doesn’t matter if you have the money or not; it really doesn’t matter. You can afford to keep her happy but what is she doing for you? What can or will she do for you, that you can NOT do for yourself? I’m talking about YOU spending two-thirds of YOUR net income, to get that value out of her; what is THAT value?
If it’s the sex, then you married a prostitute. If you need to spend money on her to make her wet for you, you need to reassess your pick of bride. If money is what makes her tolerate your flaws , you will be spending money on garbage, for the rest of your… marriage. Afterwards, you’ll be spending money on her lawyer. Marriage, in this day in age, is legitimized prostitution. It’s actually worse. If you demand sex, it’s spousal abuse. If you withhold sex, it’s spousal abuse. And if she decides you forced her to perform, it becomes marital rape. You’re gonna marry her because she’s sexy? Well sure… for now.
She cooks? What does she cook? I can attest, that it is cheaper, as a single, to eat out for every meal, than it is to have her cook for you. And unless she’s a damn good cook, you will spend the duration of your marriage, LYING about her cooking. They can’t cook!!! Just look in the cupboard, it’s full of pre-fab meals; you can make that crap yourself, just as good, because they all come with instructions on them.
Before third wave feminism, when women bantered, “what’s your recipe?” They really actually meant, “what’s your recipe?” Now when they ask it, they expect you to show them a box or can. And they can’t even be bothered to make sure you’re eating healthy; I wanna tell you a secret: fast food is healthier than most of the crap in the grocery store.
She cleans your house? So you’re gonna marry a maid. You know you can hire maids, fifteen bucks an hour, for three hours, once a week. Unless you’re a real slob, such as myself; then it’s four hours a week. Likely she’s gonna demand you do your share of the housework, even if she chooses to be a housewife, so what’s the point?
You have things in common? You actually think that she’s interested in your hobbies? It’s a dating MO to hijack your hobby, to get you interested in them. Once she has succeeded, she’s gonna dump your hobby like an old tampon, and she will eventually expect you to do so as well. The goal is that you shouldn’t need anything else but her, you should spend more attention on her, she has needs didn’t you know about. Your needs will revolve around what she thinks she need – end of story.
She’s pretty and brings warmth to your home? Dolls are pretty, and you can buy a fine doll for the expected price of an engagement ring; and it’s a one time payment, not a down payment on a lifelong promise to spreading your wallet.
Now look guys, if your answer to any real or imagined relationship problem, is to reach for your credit card, you really need to assess the value what you’re purchasing.
That’s the real issue; you’re opening your wallet, why are you opening your wallet? You bought her a house, demand she pay her half of the mortgage, or you sell it. You bought her a car, demand she make up half the payment, or you sell it. Better yet, covertly bank half your check, and see how long she makes due with the half you have to offer. Will she step up, put up, or fuck off? Learn to say no, tell her to buy it herself. You have no use for flowers, flowers die. Why buy her flowers? Buy her seeds and gardening gloves and tell her to work for her flowers.
Marriage is supposed to be a partnership. That means both parties have expected value, with expected separation equity; the one who puts in more, gets more out. You are opening your wallet at her bequest; do you really think anything will go back into that wallet when the marriage falls apart? Close your wallet.
I’ve seen more newlyweds fall apart over building brand new houses, than I have over boozing. Something is wrong with that reality.
Wow! Extremely well said.
When lawyers accept sexual favors in exchange for legal fees can also be guilty of criminal fraud. Here’s the scenario: The lawyer and client (with the assistance of a complicit judge) conspire to defraud the former spouse by manufacturing situations that cause the former spouse to be held in indirect civil contempt, through no fault of his own, but nonetheless resulting in a judgement to pay her “legal fees”. The attorney produces a billing statement with fees, the judge deems them reasonable no matter how extravengant, and then orders the former spouse to pay. The crime is that the client already worked the “fees” off in the bedroom so that judgement is simply another payday for her. Any time she needs money, she just does it again and there is absolutely no recourse for the former spouse.
Permanent disbarment – clear violation of ANY code of ethics. The End.
Though immoral I don’t feel method of payment has any bearing or conflict
Ps it is pretty disgusting as is prostitution the oldest trade known to man kind but that’s their business
This issue is not prostitution, it’s more extortion. No one knows the fear and pain of being a young single mother, barely scraping by to pay the bills and retainer. As the custody case gets worse and worse fighting the other parents frivolous motions and having an evidentiary hearing every 3 months. Being at your breaking point of losing your child or losing your home. Then the attorney seeing the weakness and desperation in a mothers need to fight for her child, offers dinner and drinks with the wink, knowing as a scared 21 year old parent I’d do anything to not lose my baby! At first it’s easy to convince yourself it was two consenting adults having fun, even though thing are progressing in your case at a far faster rate. Until he needs a little more “dessert” and you have another motion response due that if not filed on time you can loose custody of your child. This continues for years! It’s abuse from not only the other parent and the court system, but the person who is supposed to be your advocate who fights for you and your child! Who specializes in the law, knowing his actions are wrong but using desperation as a weapon for his own gain! This happens a lot more than people think and it’s not just two consenting adults! It’s a person I power abusing their power!!!
There is no more truth than the one you just said. Disbarment all the way.
You are right! In a divorce, you are fighting for two of the most important things in your life. The future of your children and your financial future. An attorney can easily take advantage of this situation. It is definitely an area where abuse of power can and does happen!
That’s terrible, I hope that didn’t happen to you! If you are 21 years old and they put you through this it’s terrible. But I think that they base family law on criminal law (not sure why). Where if it’s painful enough, both emotionally and financially people will think twice about stepping lightly into another marriage. The problem is, this process seems to do so much more damage, than what’s already been done, it just comes out as extortion for justice. And everyone goes into divorce court expecting some sort of fairness and it’s clearly not there.
I really feel that you went sideways with this question. I don’t think this is a mainstream
occurrence. It is sad to think that it probably does happen that people get so desperate
that they have to trade their bodies for services. But, I don’t think it is an industry wide issue
like unethical judges and indifferent representation.
Very fair. But please read some of the replies. I think we hit a nerve – granted a very raw and ugly nerve.
This is one of the top ” nerve” points. As well it should be. Your life, finances are falling apart. You are in transition. In walks a lawyer who says ” I will take care of it and you” You have no one you can trust, and you have handed over your money. Consensual sex? More emotional sex that THAT lawyer knew from Law school never to do. Ever. It creates betrayal, a loss of trust in relationships, and with the courts, other lawyers, and makes things much much worse. THEY GEY PAID, FOLKS. Now in a case like mine, she marries my ex husband while her husband had come on to me on a different matter. That is predatory, and about the worse thing that can happen as you are in shock. NO LAWYER should EVER do this. Dis- barrment with punitive damages. They should be held accountable. You are at your most vulnerable. then watch how they turn it around. YOU become the person that came on to them. Its terrible. Sanctions and damages awarded. .
This is one of the top ” nerve” points. As well it should be. Your life, finances are falling apart. You are in transition. In walks a lawyer who says ” I will take care of it and you” You have no one you can trust, and you have handed over your money. Consensual sex? More emotional sex that THAT lawyer knew from Law school never to do. Ever. It creates betrayal, a loss of trust in relationships, and with the courts, other lawyers, and makes things much much worse. THEY GEY PAID, FOLKS. Now in a case like mine, she marries my ex husband while her husband had come on to me on a different matter. That is predatory, and about the worse thing that can happen as you are in shock. NO LAWYER should EVER do this. Dis- barrment with punitive damages. They should be held accountable. You are at your most vulnerable. then watch how they turn it around. YOU become the person that came on to them. Its terrible. Sanctions and damages awarded. .
I assume this behavior is against the code of ethics of the bar. It should be. Preying upon disadvantaged persons is low class behavior and should be punshable. Removal of the license to practice law is reasonable, plus payment of damages to the client.
All the above except no penalty. Taking advantage of someone when they have already been scr#ed is the lowes of low. Even criminals have an honor that goes Beyond that
Those that pussy-foot around with removing evil will never understand that there should always be zero tolerance for such evil acts as an attorney taking part in such an unethical act. Just as those who lie, cheat, steal and make false allegations in court, they all deserve the maximum penalty so as to send a clear message… ‘don’t do it ! or you too will do life in prison”. Indeed, life imprisonment is the only logical answer..
Lawlyer Bill and Monica said it was consenual. Lawyer Bill Clinton shouuld never again be a lawyer.
I voted 5 year suspension of license , but that is for first time offence if it happens again then license must be permanently suspended.
I would just like to know how to get my ex’s new wife from representing him. She’s getting sexual favors I suppose.
We’re all suckers at their mercy. I don’t know what they teach them in law school, but it’s more hyperbole than justice. And judges, well they are clearly lawyers egos on steroids. Having been through some divorce court myself, I can easily identify the lie the Judges live. I think they should be forcefully removed from court. I don’t think a judge should work in family court unless they’ve been a family lawyer for over 20 years, be at least 50 years old, have had a family and kids. They have no idea how anything feels unless they have been in this situation. Then they should be held to the highest standard of ethics and accountability as well as custody evaluators and GAL. Custody evaluations must be standardized and require psychological testing of both parents consisting multiple tests and interviews. That these people presume to know what happened in a marriage, charge what they do and make decisions on custody without doing some serious investigation is theft again. It must be nice to get hooked up with the court system and get a free ride on misery! No accountability!
Remove their access to fathers money and you return to fairness. .
If we could get a law with teeth that actually really did start off with the presumption of 50/50 parent time- everything else would magically fall into place. This, the court will not do because as we all know, the transfer of fathers money out of his wallet IS DIRECTLY DEPENDANT UPON there being an UN-even visitation split. Can you say, “every other weekend and maybe a Wednesday here and there”? Consequently, this is why any REAL reform is next to impossible to get passed. Too much money would be lost. That blood money, that mommy-support, ransom, child rental fee, (whatever you want to call it)born on the back of ‘legal-kidnapping, is not the prime reason, but the ONLY reason family court even exists. We all saw the movie Divorce Corp. and how they do divorce in other countries; their system is excellent! Why don’t they move to doing that here?
Answer: MONEY.
We must absolutely MUST remove their access to fathers money or nothing will never, ever change.
Tilting at windmills gentlemen. All we’re doing for 50 years now and still tiling at windmills…
I wish the question was “what should the penalty be for an attorney who has sex with the judge?’
In my case, my judge was young and was in awe of my ex because he is a big time attorney in her former area of practice( which was not family law, by the way!) There was definitely some extra-ordinary communication going on between them. My ex got everything in the divorce.
This happens so often behind closed doors….not only with lawyers but, with judges as well….so awful…..once again ,women are being exploited…especially, when they are so vulnerable,,,,,,some things never change,,,,,there are lawyers who collude with judges and decisions are made in some out of the way place…..those with money and clout and political connections….get what they seek….and it is to destroy the woman and her children…..there are lawyers who should loose their license to practice law,,,,,they are supposed to be ‘officers of the court’ and beyond reproach…..there are certain lawyers who clearly Violate the law,,,and make it up as they go along(with the express consent of the judge-who is their friend)…there are lawyers who Violate the Americans with Disabilities Act in open court by lambasting a disabled person for their particular disability,,,they commit a Hate Crime in open court as well as violate the Ethics of the law…..this has been done in New Jersey and it is completely disgusting…..there is no one to oversea these unscrupulous lawyers who get away with all of these Violations…..there is no one watching the Hen House……thoughts anyone ?
Hi Zenethia,
We are interested in opening up dialogue on your above comments. Can you please email us directly? Outreach(at)divorcecorp.com.
Thank you.
Seriously? to the person who said marriage too, is like prostitution in answer to this question! Perhaps you need to think before spewing venom onto this blog site? Do you know of spouses who pay for services rendered, look at it as prostitution in this light? when have you taken leave of your senses?! This might be the main reason you are divorced!
I have evidence against the opposing attorney and judge in my divorce that both omitted testimony and further altered facts concerning a court date presented in a proposed court order signed into law by the judge. The changes were secretly done in order to hold the hearing without me or my attorneys presence and then hold me in contempt. This same judge billed me for court costs and then signed a judgement ordering me to pay the attorney the same fees and further deposit money into the attorneys tax exempt trust fund
Castrate them all judges too!!!
I semi-respectfully disagree with this logic, or lack thereof.
1. There is no special consideration (or should not be) given to a 21 year old Mom over a 21 year old Dad. This is not a gender issue.
2. There is nothing in the scenario that suggests the client has to sleep with the attorney. It is simply an additional option.
3. If this 21 year old Mom is, “barely scraping by”, well maybe that is her fault for depending on someone else to support her instead of working on her own career. At the very least, it is her choice.
4. “It’s a person I power abusing their power”, no, it is the other person allowing the transaction to take place. They could always pay money instead. Why does the choice of an individual become the fault of another human being? Aren’t you responsible for your own actions?
5. “This happens a lot more than people think”… sources please? I was unaware that there was an epidemic of lawyers forcing people to have sex with them.
6. I would loved to have traded sex for services with my attorney, and I’m a straight male who had a male attorney. The stitches required to fix my physical body would be less painful than the emotional stitches left behind by losing my future earnings for many years to come.
Such a circumstance, I would say amounts to extortion, then rape. It should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
I thought the Lawyer was was the prostitute, but he’ll come out smelling like a rose (statistically speaking – it’s not going anywhere (unless she’s like 9 years old).
The woman however, clearly got screwed; but she knew that going into the deal. Not her first rodeo either.
Give us some hard questions, that was fun!!
This one is a “2 way street” If one trades sexual favors for representation, then that makes an immoral disgusting attorney, and it makes for a slimeball prostitute of a client.
Although there’s nothing wrong with consensual sex between adults, in this case it constitutes an abuse of power by someone in a position of authority and trust.
I believe trading sex for legal services is a rare occurence, but have never seen any statistics.
They should be fined and disbared…. Contempt of court and some jail time! You have got to be tough to make a difference! Right?
I replied “Life in Prison” to the survey, but I wish there was a “None of the above”, but that wasn’t an option. Often polls like this do not have a good answer as an option.
What should occur is the lawyer and client should be charged with “Adultery”, and then “Adultery” should be added to the list of why the other party wants a divorce.
The other party should then sue the lawyer for what is called “Alienation of Affection”.
Custody should usually be given to the party who didn’t have the affair with the lawyer, but then again in some divorces both partners have committed Adultery against the other.
Then you need to have someone figure out if that lawyer lied in court saying good things, which were not true, about the client the lawyer is sleeping with.
And DNA testing needs to be done, at the lawyer’s expense, to figure out if any of the children are actually the children of the lawyer.
Perhaps, the lawyer’s affair is what got this divorce going in the first place?
Like the psychiatrist, the lawyer has the power in the relationship. Therefore this is NOT and NEVER will be a relationship between 2 consenting adults, even if they are both in love. Read the rules about doctor/patient relationships. Massachusetts has opined that there is NEVER a condition underwhich a doctor can be intimate with a patient without losing his/her license.
The answer is an easy one; I always thought adultery was not legal? When a lawyer breaks the law, they should go to jail instead of getting a promotion or actually paid for doing it…
If they can get arrested and get away with it and no penalty put on them ,in Bakersfield ca I know of one attorney how got arrested with a hooker and another one got pick.up as a cross dresser acting like a woman and still have the license to practice law . It was all swept under a rug by a judge