Many divorced or separated parents expressed grief that they did not get to see one or more of their minor children this year. If you are divorced or separated, please let us know what you experienced.
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And here are the results:
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My teenagers got fed up with the parenting schedule and one parent asking permission and then being denied by the other. They decided that it was their life and they would make up the parenting schedule. They control the calendar and publish it on google calendar and send the “read only” version to each parent. They are exacting about being fair to each parent, while seeing to it that they are with the parent who can provide “this” is with them on the day they need “this”. Phew… one less thing to fight about and be in “contempt of court” about. They also decided that they each wanted time alone as the “only child” with each parent, so 1/2 of the weekends, both parents have a child.
Out of the mouths of babes comes wisdom!
Fantastic idea!
OMGosh!! What awesome children you have!! Arrogant and corrupt Judge’s and Lawyers take note!
Denied any contact with my child by her mother for all of Father’s Day. No court orders, just mother’s discretion.
The only reason the law works this way is because the State would rather stick it to some unsuspecting guy rather than assuming the burden of supporting the children of lying women who refuse to work and support their own little bastards.
I have not seen my kids for 6 years and not that I have been trying, for 6 years. I have made at least 25 court experiences I received another restraining order on the last fathers day. and this fathers day she had a my oldest son file a false report claiming I beat him up . Child Services has opened a case against me even though it is false.
This is not only happening to father’s. I had a restraining order against me with false allegations that I beat my son as well. His father has made him to believe that all of these facts are true… so in his mind, I have to go into counseling and apologize for things that were never really as bad as what was written in court. It’s been an uphill battle for some time now. So much for raising him alone all those years. The great mother that I was has been overshadowed by a rough time during those teenage years (sassy, disrespectful mouth), and his father chirping in his ear how horrible I am and what he will ‘provide’ for him vs. what I have done all his life. You are NOT alone. Unfortunately, it does go both ways.
My Ex-Wife has done everything she can to block access to my children. Now that my son is eighteen, I have had three lunches with him, after not seeing him for over eight years! And I was “Mr. Mom” for the kids…
There are so many orders of protection out against me, all completely untrue and based on the paranoid fantasies of my Ex, that I probably won’t see my daughter until she’s eighteen… 3-1/2 years to wait…
I’m not surprised that neither child contacted me on Fathers’ Day. I just wish they would visit my parents, now both in their nineties, before it’s too late.
My kids are alienated from me. I did see my son for a few minutes on the Wednesday BEFORE Father’s Day. This was a chance meeting. I spoke top him briefly and he told me to e-mail him. I did 3 times before the 15th. Today is June 23rd and I have not heard a word, nor do I expect to. On the 16th, I spoke to my FOC person and basically was told there is nothing that can be done as my son “ages out” of the system in August. My daughter has been out since 2013. Bottom line is NO ONE REALLY CARES and the ONLY way to win, as the system is set up today, is have lots of $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$. Then one might have a chance.
I saw my 14 and 17 years old girls on Fathers day for 3 hours. They are quite alienated from me the constant conflict with their mother of over all kinds of things has really damaged the girls’ relationship with me (father). The girls are told lies about me such as’ “I refuse to pay child support, I do not love them, I am going to abaondon them and so on. None of this has EVER happened, but they are so distrustful of me that the relationship is really damaged. This family legal system can not make people behave nicely or civilly but it must stop rewarding conflict and it must stop unequal settlements which motivate conflict.
The family law system is TOXIC to family – parent – child relationships.
Can we please get rid of the poison???
Alienated from my daughter by the ex wife. No Father’s day call, Birthday, anything for the last 6 years. Courts did not uphold their own court order for visitation. Basically legal kidnapping allowed here in our own country. Marriage as an institution will cease to exist as more men are educated on the ways of our system. Don’t whine ladies when that happens in 10 or 20 years.
Oh don’t worry, Ri Sant. I won’t whine at all when marriage as an institution ceases to exist. And like you, I believe it will. As a woman, I was just as damaged by the delights of marriage as any man out there. Thanks to false accusations of abuse by their father, my daughters are also alienated against me. He initiated the divorce proceedings by vanishing with the kids. Ironically, if anyone else in the world had snatched my children and held them away from me without me knowing anything at all about their whereabouts or safety, like he did, then the full force of the law would have been raised against them. The police, the FBI, even everyday citizens through Amber Alerts would have been searching for them. I would have been comforted by knowing that society cherished me and my children and would spare no expense to reunite us. Instead, because he was their father and we were still legally married, he was allowed to vanish with them and no one cared at all. I will NEVER marry again and will never give any other person legal authority over me. No thanks. I am amazed that any person, male or female, is willing to enter into a such a legally binding contract that gives another person such control over them.
Oh, and I also have been victim of the courts failing to uphold their own court ordered visitation. When he withheld visitation and I tried to find him in contempt of court I was lectured by the judge that “Finding someone in contempt of court is a very serious charge. I do not take this lightly.” as if I had done something wrong by attempting to fight for court-granted time with my children. If the judge who ordered visitation won’t even enforce it then no one will.
I do feel for you CJ P. I wish this Divorce Corp movie was available many many years ago for us to learn from. My friend is going through a divorce right now and I just saved him thousands of dollars by showing him the movie. He bought an extra copy and gave it to his soon to be ex! She told her attorney and after a few letters back and forth, all arguments (and attorney’s costs)ceased.
My case didn’t include any kind of abuse charges or violence or anything of that nature. Just alienation. Perfect storm of divorce. My now ex was a teacher at my daughter’s school, maternal grandparents knew lawyers and judges, and I was naïve thinking courts actually enforced their orders. Daughter being 14 years old was given her own attorney that I had to pay for , that just helped to keep her away from me. She’s 20 now and still nowhere in my life or her paternal grandparents’ life.
Anyway, what a racket. I wish you the best in reuniting with your children. Sorry to say I don’t think any court will help you until the system is changed. As for marriage, no thanks. Don’t do it. Educate little ones that the princess fairytale is a sham. Be together because you want to be, not because a piece of paper so you have to. Things work out way better that way!
I was allowed to Skype with my son on Mother’s Day – for 12minutes.
Yes, but I had to give up one if my regular wknds just to see him on Father’s Day wknd.
My almost 18 year old daughter has never come to a “possession” time. My 15 year old son comes to all my possession times, but I had to return him at 6 pm on Father’s Day.
After the initial salvo of being falsely accused of abusing my wife and child, I sought and won sole custody of my child. Which was easier for me to do than most since every professional who knew my wife knew that she was seriously mentally ill. However our divorce judge was seriously biased against men. Eventually he woke up and smelled the coffee.
Im supposed to have my sons all holidays, an summers. Now that Lancaster PA left my EX walk away after she beat my sons. Well, they give her $2000.00 a month of my money. Im lucky if I see $200.00 a week after they give her Grand Prize for beating my sons. So I have no money to go get them, plus she has denied my many times. Lancaster PA will not do their job. They care nothing about my sons or my rights. They like to give BS stories though, like take her for contempt. Pass over the money Lancaster PA. Ill do it
I have not seen my son for three Fathers Day, Xmas, etc. False allegations are a powerful tool.
I had 2 of my boys. The other boy and daughter from my second ex wife have not been to my home since end of summer 2013. Their mother has manipulated them and allowed them to manipulate. I would like to have them over but during the divorce and after the divorce the children would come over and be unruly and then go back to their mothers and tell her I abused them. My ex would call the police and children services. All reports of abuse from me have been unsubstantiated. I do not fight with my ex to have my children visit my home anymore. I have taken to many chances. I’m afraid I’ll end up in jail for something I didn’t do. If the court officials would have followed procedure and the law. The situation would be much better. If you live in Ohio, or anywhere else. I have a blog with information on what procedure and the law is concerning guardian ad litem’s. .And a decision from an appeals court case addressing the abuse of discretion by the judge in the lower court. The appeals court ruled the lower court abused it’s discretion by adopting the GAL’s decision when the GAL did not follow procedure. In Ohio, procedure rules state specifically what the minimum requirements are for a GAL to follow. I also show in my story how far the court officials will go to protect one of their own. If I knew this information at the beginning of my divorce it may have helped me. Click on my name.
“…I am a man and I did not have my minor children for most or all of Father’s Day.” not for 2014, 2013 nor for any year since 1998. That is the level of insanity that the courts can create – the mother wanted to impose a mental belief condition (i.e. you don’t have any need for your father, he doesn’t love you, you are better off without him, he is dangerous etc. etc. etc) on the children and the court EMPOWERED her to do it.
I was assaulted by my (she lived with us) mother-in-law (she was convicted) who then swore revenge against me. Making good on that promise, upon getting out of jail (she took my step children) she made false allegations of child abuse to DCFS against me. It took nearly 3 years and over $20,000 for the TRUTH to be made known. Through all this she also manipulated my wife to divorce me. They even submitted “false” evidence of abuse that was about another (a person with my same name, but was not me) which the judge wrongfully allowed. My ex-wife’s 15 year old son (who’s now 19) was convicted of felony Rape of Child! and felony Sodomy of a Child! and has lived with my ex-wife and now 4 year old baby boy this entire time, and courts don’t care!! (I of course have much, much more I could show you!) Bottom line is.. I was assaulted and because I called the police (correct thing to do!) I have received revenge after revenge (lies & continued false accusations of which I have physical proof) which have cost me now close to $30,000 (I am now broke!) ..and my now 4 1/2 year old son has been withheld from ever seeing me, or being able to even know who I am!! This is the corrupt feminist world which is certainly “my” experience and life for the past 4 years! I do not have a criminal record. I have ALWAYS been exonerated from every and all accusations they have accused me of! My story belongs on the national media! I have not seen my son since he was 6 months old!
By the way.. I live in Utah! Where judicial corruption is alive and well!!
That is why the ancients owned pitchforks. A pitchfork can demolish the trident and deflate the immunity of most any tyrant from hell.
There is no other way around the false accusations and other methods through which family courts steal babies from a parent’s arms and put them up for government-designed extortion. They call it justice because they can usually point to one of the two parents who is dumb enough to think that they will benefit from the court’s stealing and exploiting of the children for the benefit of the divorce system.
The judiciary is corrupt through and through. Family court corruption is but one obvious sign of the family-destroying, childhood destroying system which will not be able to stand in the face of a large group of well-organized and angry parents.
I had a choice between driving ten hours and spending $300 to see them or being framed as a dad who doesn’t care. I took the latter and received no phone calls.
I spent this Father’s Day with you, and I know you do care. We all do. It’s hard to decide whether to be fueled by hatred for the ignorant courts and inept ex-spouses, or try to “forget about it, just accept it, and enjoy the day.” Clearly the kids are not as beaten up about this as we are. Why is all the help for the kids when ex-communicated parents are hurting so much worse?
I am sick of courts violating parents rights and denying me access to my children based on phony baloney PAS. I had a contractual agreement with my ex husband and did not breach that contract nor am I an unfit parent that has been charged with anything. I am sick of being denied access to my children for almost 4 years after raising them on my own until they were 5-7 years old then one day my ex wakes up and decides he wants the children and the judge hands them over and waa laa we have been in court for the past 4 years while the boys are now isolated and claim abuse. Every time any of us open our mouth about abuse we lose our rights and access to each other. So fine if the courts do not want to prosecute him for child abuse violating orders or anything else do not deny us the right to see each other. We will keep our mouths shut and let him bully every one until the boys grow up and beat the crap out of him. But noooooooo the judge is afraid that their registered sex offender father may be molesting them to and ohhhhh he would not want that to get out since he gave him the boys.
What a screwed up bunch of hypocrite pieces of crap that we have given our power to. I would like to have control of my life back and raise my children without interference from the courts. I have dealt with my ex husbands abuse for 11 years and if law enforcement or courts does not want to enforce the law fine. But do not deny my rights and access to my children because you are stupid and profit off of it. Time to take the law into our own hands in this country!!!!
Fathers Day has been ignored for years even though the parenting plan said our son’s 4 children get to be with him….More depth to this story!
Making disparaging remarks about the other parent in the children’s presence is a means of alienation of affection. Don’t get discouraged if you notice that some of your own behaviors have been alienating. This is normal in even the best of parents. Instead, sensitize yourself to how you are behaving and what you are saying to your children.
I put together a YouTube video that suggests a simple but effective technique that seems to lessen the negative effect this type of destructive behavior has on children. Although it may seem somewhat counter-intuitive to speak positively about an individual who undermines and blackens your name at every opportunity. Keep in mind that negativeness can’t be countered with more negativity, it just doesn’t work.
I am of the opinion that parent(s) who intentionally engage in alienating behavior such-as badmouthing, are willing participant(s) to a “negative-sum game”. (See: Game Theory)
Game Theory—
Zero-sum, positive-sum, and negative-sum are all game theory terms and refer to the actual amount of measurable benefit or lose that each participant incurs. Game theory attempts to look at the relationships between participants in a particular model and predict their optimal decisions.
(1) In a zero-sum game, it is impossible for one participant to advance its position without the other participant suffering a corresponding loss. The net change in total measurable benefit among participants is zero; the measurable benefit is just shifted from one to another.
(2) In a positive-sum game, outcomes are those in which participants advance their position without participants suffering a corresponding loss. The net change in total measurable benefit among participants is greater than zero and everyone stands to gain.
(3) In a negative-sum game instance, it is impossible for participants to advance their positions of without suffering a loss in comparison to what they currently have or really need. In the end, the net change in total measurable benefit among participants will amount to less than zero whereby everyone stands to lose within the game instance.
Notwithstanding the previous assertion that: “it is impossible for participants to advance their positions…” It should be noted that overly manipulative individuals typically have few if any boundaries, are master strategists and adept at contriving and implementing multi-layer strategy’s as a means to achieve their self-serving goals without regard to who gets hurt along the way. Such an individual is likely to have a propensity to engage in badmouthing. Especially if they perceive some self-serving ancillary benefit whether real or imagined. Virtually any attempt by you to rebut the subject matter of other parents badmouthing to the child, is likely to be perceived as a request to align themselves with you and against the other parent. Don’t allow yourself to be lured into a negative sum game situation such as this; causing further great harm to your child.
Furthermore, It has been my experience that simply abstaining from badmouthing is not enough. Try saying something good about the other parent in your children’s presence and watch how they light-up.
See: “Fighting Toxic Talk”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2bQGGLm_50o&list=PLIo1yGJko2zXj9Hi0htN0GNBLuqZK6mSA
Oddly despite all the information about personality disorders, the custody evaluators and judges don’t seem to be equipped to identify this behavior or are purposely ignoring it. These BPD/NPD people are extremely cunning, expert liars and manipulators. We spent 10k on a forensic psychologist who did very little actual clinical work. These people who presume to represent the children’s interest seem to dismiss these behaviors and the affect it can have on men as well as the children.
Mothers with BPD/NPD are truly destroying our children. Expecially those with boys who twist their perception of the male/female personalities. The boys then end up with a poorly formed perception of women and what acceptable behavior is. I wonder, will my son be codependant and fall for the same kind of woman I did? Are we condeming boys to divorce and failed relationships by giving custody to women who are clearly mentally ill? Reinforcing a twisted perspective of women and their behavior?
Emotional abuse is almost assumed to always happen to a woman. But women are given permission to be verbally and emotionally abusive as well as stalk their husbands and even have others spy on husbands for them. If this is done, it’s presumed the husband deserved it, however the due diligence to find out is never done!
It takes a very special kind of person to seperate children from parents for financial gain, mothers do it basically because the state is a better option and guarantees a problem free relationship with their children. The states do it because it lines their coffers with federal money for the special human/communist style management project.
Judges do it because they think they are god, with not exactly the wisodm of solomon but the betrayal of everything that America stood for. Of course that extra incentive of special status that is endowed on them for doing the federal reserves work and a boost to their pensions to reiieve their moral midgetry in their twighlight years.
While females are a minority on this specific issue, in the land of the free and the brave always remember it is not the childrens fault whatever happens. It is for them a reality of life these days, and this type of behavior is specific to targettting the minds of children and their ooutlooks.
Do read Rebecca J Cook’s, submission where she explains the use of family court judges as a social tool for the federal reserves popultion policies through financial incentives and expensive against the publics bests interests most expensive project in the history of the world. Both in finacial costs and human costs.. The article is called ‘Formulating Population Policy: A Case Study of the United States’, from 1974, which is when the clintons, Biden. Kissinger and even members of our very special royal clique who never leave office whom were given a pass to influence congress even to this day from the shadows. They just change titles, faces and names.
More importantly to understand how our system of government is wholly administered, do study the first corporate Welfare theorem. working paper 630, explains it all, a little complex and mathematically challenging but it does expalin in black and white the scary means and methods necessary to turn not just a profit but to achievbe a goal for the international interests at the publics expense. Yet at the end of the day it comes down to the whole US economy controlled, people liking the cardle and grave mentality, with everything measured and managed by our most illustrious and evil legal system. Who now manage the medical system, the welfare sytem and every other government operation that the public has access to through only a basic and required legal intermediary for additional fees. So what happened to the original government. Well it is very simple, you pay your tax dollars for that old government, and pay your user fees for the services it provides through the many franchised agencies, even the legal system is a franchised agency. That is how the most expensive government in the history of humans earns its income, with almost 63% of the economy relient on governmental services.
No lawyer can do business without paying their local dues, and that is membership of the franchise. People no longer have that ability. Unions, cartels and monopolies are only for the class of administrative individuals.
As for kids, best commodity in the US bar none, and what better people than a US lawyer to make a handsome deal out of emotional blackmail based on the idea that children like everything else are property. But not yours.
I have never received a father’s day card from neither my son or daughter their entire lives. Their mother turned them against me, while I was away fighting a war. When I came back, they treated me like a walking ATM machine. Even though I gave them money and provided for them, I NEVER once got a father’s day card.
My son was on a mission trip with his church the week which included Father’s Day, then he had national debate championship immediately following, and has orientation for college tomorrow and Thursday. We just got back from a three day vacation together. All in all we will have about one week total together this summer since he has so much going on in his life.
Authorities know they’re not doing their jobs properly, they purposely ignore what’s really important, we are just numbers to them, caring doesn’t even come in to the equation!
I will fight for my children and won’t ever give up on them, they have been brain washed and I will not rest. I also not received any fathers day card in the last 2 years!
The results of poll #28 are heartbreaking.
I had hoped that I was in the minority- discovering I was not makes my heart ache for all the loving parents who are denied even Mothers/Fathers Day with their child/ren.
One of the “proclamations” made to me by my worse than useless lawyers was
Mothers/Fathers Day and Birthdays are sacred and are always honored… “don’t give that a moment of worry”…
I myself have been denied any time/contact with my children on Mother’s Day for 4 years now. (as well as every other day-special or not for 4+years)
Narcissitic abusive ex has perfected the art of hostile aggressive parental alienation. so much so that in addition to my 4 wonderful kids he has extended his poison to my family and once close friends
I never see my 3 sons, on any eventful day. That is with Dad (family) consistently has been since he booked in 98. Oh I forgot, he spent Xmas with her and her kids in 99, sons and I were so sad , it was awful going to another’s home and it seemed to teach them not to ever turn him down on all holidays , but he just sent checks , being the dutiful friend father . Mentioning thru these past 7 year intensive, he thinks I still want him, as he projects easily , IF I ask him to aid me in talking to sons.
Closure is coming up tho, not our sons, He does know how to emote at all Kids know and still love and align with him as men, and see me as “crazy”. Plus he has $$$$ and that pie is awaiting . sons are so detached , as to frighten me and trigger me and I finally decided that is abusive as the blame game continues . I am writing and have a FB page Eradicating Parental Alienation Child Abuse .